


A Classroom Full Of Idiots And A Group Chat Full Of Regrets

by faraandmera



Series: another bad chatfic but theres more than one [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: AU where Maki and Kokichi (at some point) were in the same orphanage, Multi, a chat fic bc im a basic bitch, also potential spoilers about oumas secret oraganization and morals, alternate universe: hopes peak, bc thats a thing, but theyre pretty minor & theres chance of others, listen why, no killing just nonsense, oh also aro/ace Rantaro if you have a feeling about that, tagging on mobile is hard, tags subject to additions, update added relationships, uses first names like a pleb bc the localization team decided TO DO THAT
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-05-04 10:40:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14591256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faraandmera/pseuds/faraandmera
Summary: Tenko has added 14 people to The Gay Agenda Of Class 79





	1. Spicy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 7am i haven't slept and i'm full of regrets  
> if you think i have a plan you're sorely mistaken
> 
> i forgot how to type like 2 words into this so please dont expect what folks call "quality content"

_[8:04pm, December 24th]_

_**Tenko** has added 14 people to The Gay Agenda Of Class 79_

* * *

 

_[3:06pm, January 4th]_

_**Kaede:**_ I know it's been

 _ **Kaede:**_ Weeks.

 _ **Kaede:**_ But someone remind me why this chat exists and has been empty this entire time. And why did Tenko make it?

 

 _ **Tenko:** _ it's for our class!

 _ **Tenko** : _and it was actually himiko's idea

 _ **Tenko**_ : but

 

 _ **Kaede**_ : Makes sense

 _ **Kaede**_ : i think?

 

 _ **Tenko**_ : oh! and

_**Tenko's** name has been changed to **Aggressively loves girls**_

 

 _ **Kaede**_ : relatable

 

 _ **Tsumugi**_ : not to be that person

 _ **Tsumugi**_ : but aren't there are 16 people in our class??

 

 _ **Himiko**_ : decisions were made

_**Himiko's** name has been chanted to **Aubrey Little Jr.** by **Tsumugi**_

**_Aubrey Little Jr.:_** why

 _ **Aubrey Little Jr.**_ : who

 

 ** _Kaede:_** that's not even an anime

 

 _ **Tsumugi**_ : still

 

_**Tsumugi's** name as been changed to  **Fake weeb** by  **Aubrey Little Jr.**_

 

 _ **Kaede** :_ Is it even possible for Tsumugi, a japanese person, living in and from japan, to be a weeb

 

 ** _Aubrey Little Jr.:_** it is now

 

 _ **Kaito**_ : so we've just moved on from who's missing?

 _ **Kaito**_ : which is

 _ **Kaito**_ : who

 

 _ **Angie**_ : Role cal

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : i cant believe angie was kill mid sentence

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : no need it doesn't matter

 

 _ **Maki**_ : you can also just read the participant list

 

 _ **Kaito**_ : i could

 _ **Kaito**_ : but

 

_**Angie's** name has been changed to  **with atua** by  **Fake weeb**_

 

 _ **Kaede:**_ tsumugi please

 _ **Kaede:**_ Where are the others anyway

 

 _ **Shuichi:**_ Miu has detention last i heared. Gonta is preoccupied

 

 _ **Kaede**_ : well

_**Kaede's** name has been changed to  **Ultimate Class Rep** by  **Aggressively loves girls**_

_**Ultimate Class Rep**_ : I know a third year class that would fight every one of us over this title

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_  they dont have to know

 

 _ **Maki**_ : why did you give all of us admin privileges

 _ **Maki**_ : dont you know thats a disaster waiting to happen

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ you're right!

_**Aggressively loves girls** has removed admin privileges from **Kaito, K1-B0, Korekiyo, Ryoma, Shuichi,** & **Rantaro**_

 

 _ **Maki**_ : that isnt exactly what i meant

 

 _ **Ryoma**_ : she let gonta keep his

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : wouldn't you?

 

 _ **Ryoma:**_ fair

 

 _ **Aubrey Little jr.:**_ somehow not surprised

 

 _ **Kaito**_ : why though

 _ **Kaito**_ : not the gonta part

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ you know why

 

_**Maki's**  _ _name has been changed to **doesn't want to be here**_

_**doesn't want to be here**_ : so do we have to stay or

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ if you leave i will just add you back!

 

 _ **with atua:**_ I have found some of the others

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : she lives

 

 _ **Kirumi:**_ Oh, has this finally started being used?

_**Kirumi's** name has been changed to  **mother** by  **Ultimate Class Rep**_

_**mother:**_ no

 

 _ **Rantaro**_ : i showed up just to have my admin rights taken away

 _ **Rantaro**_ : so what even was the point

 

 _ **Miu**_ : YO WHATS UP YOU HETRO BITCHES

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep:**_ how dare you say that to me. Don't-----

 

 _ **Shuichi**_ : -ever speak to me like that again

 

 _ **Miu:**_ did you two fucking practice that

 

 _ **Shuichi**_ : no

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : its just the bi hive mind

 

 _ **Rantaro**_ : meaning youre in the same room?

 

 _ **Kaito**_ : callout post

 

 _ **Shuichi**_ : this chat was himiko's idea right?

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : ignored. murdered.

 

 _ **Kaito:**_ dude

 

 _ **Aubrey Little jr.**_ : ye

 

 _ **Shuichi:**_ was there a particular reason you included korekiyo

 _ **Shuichi**_ : but not kokichi

 

 _ **Kaito**_ : THATS WHOS MISSING

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : you really didnt realize that sooner?

 

 _ **Aubrey Little jr.:**_ revenge

 _ **Aubrey Little jr.'s**_   _name has been changed to **spite mage** by  **Ultimate Class Rep**_

 _ **spite mage**_ : that's fair

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : hold on

 

 _ **Miu**_ : to what? :)

_**Miu's** name has been changed to  **that one** by  **Ultimate Class Rep**_

_**that one**_ : what the fuck does this mean

 

 _ **Kaito**_ : it's kind ominous

 _ **Kaito**_ : "that one is coming"

 _ **Kaito**_ : WAIT NO

 

 _ **that one**_ : HA WELL

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep:**_ no

 

_**Kaito's** name has been changed to  **enabler** by  **Ultimate Class Rep**_

**_enabler_ :** i deserved this

 

_**Korekiyo's** name has been changed to  **the worse one** by  **Ultimate Class Rep**_

 

 _ **Ryoma**_ : he's not even here to know

 

 _ **the worse one**_ : oh no i am

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : You know what you did

 

 _ **the worse one**_ : i really don't

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : who's left

 

 _ **Shuichi**_ : Ryoma, Rantaro, Gonta, & Kiibo

_**Shuichi's** name as been changed to  **depression** by  **Ultimate Class Rep**_

_**depression:**_ WHY

 _ **depression:**_ KAEDE

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep:**_ well ryoma would have been too obvious

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : she has too much power

 

 _ **enabler**_ : too much

 

 _ **with atua**_ : somehow it works

 

_**Ryoma's**_ _name has been changed to **closest to hell** by  **doesn't want to be here**_

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : well

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ ....sorry

 

 _ **closest to hell**_ : god i wish

 

_**K1-B0's** name has been changed to  **doing his best** by  **Ultimate Class Rep**_

_**doing his best:**_ oh!

 

 _ **that one**_ : where the shit have you been

 

 _ **closest to hell**_ : doing his best

 

 _ **doing his best**_ : I wasn't sure I had much to add to this!

 

 _ **enabler**_ : so ryoma was right

 

 _ **Gonta's** name has been changed to  **Best Boy**_   _by **Ultimate Class Rep**_

 

 _ **depression:**_ an accurate 

 

 ** _the worse one:_** an accurate ?what

 

 _ **depression:**_ no that's it

 

 _ **Rantaro's** name has been changed to  **clever title** by _ ** _Ultimate Class Rep_ **

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : I gave up

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : i'm sorry

 

 _ **clever title**_ : it's fine

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : now just a few more things

 

 _ **mother:**_ does it feel like Kaede completely took over here?

 

 _ **enabler**_ : she's probably the most trustworthy one to

 

 _ **mother**_ : i suppose

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ _has removed admin privileges from_ _: **Aggressively loves girls, spite mage, mother, doesn't want to be here, that one, Fake weeb** & **with atua**_

 

 ** _spite_** _**mage**_ : uh

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : WHA

 

 _ **depression**_ : even this time,  gonta remains

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_   _has given admin privileges to **depression**_

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep:**  _bi solidarity 

 

 _ **that one**_ : WHAT THE FUCK

 _ **that one**_ : bitch

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : i just cant be the one to blame for this

 

 _ **clever title**_ : for what

 

 _ **enabler**_ : fear

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : wait

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : No

 

 _ **spite mage**_ : what?

 

 _**depression's** _ _name has been changed to **i'm sorry himiko**_

 _ **i'm sorry himiko**_ : i know you didn't want this

 _ **i'm sorry himiko**_ : but it really doesn't feel right

 _ **i'm sorry himiko**_ : to have the entire class here

 

 _ **spite mage**_ : traitor

 

 _ **Agressively loves girls**_ : I will kill you how could you do this to himiko

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : ^this is why i'm not the one doing it

 

 _ **enabler**_ : this feels like an overreaction

 _ **enabler**_ : this really isn't that bad

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : I don’t want to call you stupid, but…

 

_**enabler:** just_

_**enabler**_ : just do it

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : please never say that again

 

 _ **i'm sorry himiko**_ _has added 1 person to The Gay Agenda Of Class 79_

 _**i'm sorry himiko** _ _has removed admin privileges from: **Kokichi**_

_**Kokichi's** name has been changed to  **upset about the definition of ketchup** by  **i'm sorry himiko**_

_**i'm sorry himiko's** name has been changed to  **no regrets** by  **Ultimate Class Rep**_

 

 _ **no regrets:**_ well that just plain aint true

 

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : "aint"

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : also????????????????????????

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_  yall started a group chat without me???????? hOW COULD YOU

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ _ **:**_ i'm crying

 

 _ **that one**_ : YOU FOLLOWED UP MAKING FUN OF AINT WITH USING "y'all" FUCKing Y'ALL

 ** _that one_** : YOU LOSER

 

 _ **closest to hell**_ : there's probably something to be said about the first thing he does being making fun of shuichi

 

 _ **no regrets**_ : :/

 

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : whatever you all suck but what the fuck is my name

 

 _ **no regrets:**_ it's true isn't it

 

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : sTILL

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : how did you kNOW

 

 _ **clever title**_ : wait what's wrong with the definition of ketchup?

 

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup: "**_ a spicy sauce made chiefly from tomatoes and vinegar, used as a condiment."

 

 _ **that one**_ : SPICY?!?!?!

 _ **that one**_ : ive had DREAMS spicier than KETCHUP holy shit

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : SPICY

 

 _ **enabler**_ : spicey?

 _ **enabler**_ : SPICEY?

 

 _ **the worse one**_ : well

 

 _ **clever title**_ : no. no. who

 

 _ **closest to hell**_ : kill me

 

 _ **doing his best**_ : i don't understand, what's wrong with that?

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : its...no

 

 _ **spite mage**_ : this is my least favourite

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : im sorry what

 

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : yEAH FUCKERS SUFFER WITH ME

 

 _ **with atua**_ : this is a disgrace to everything i believe in

 

 _ **no regrets**_ : there you have it

 

 _ **Best Boy**_ : uh

 _ **Best Boy**_ : Gonta is sorry he was doing a project, what is going on?

 

 _ **that one**_ : WHERE TO EVEN START

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for tuning into garbage  
> 10 guesses who my favourite character is
> 
> since the moment i saw an incorrect quote (not in relation to dr) about the ketchup thing and found out i have not been the same
> 
> anyway, to keep track, names at the end of this chapter (pls help be come up with better ones):  
> Kaede - Ultimate Class Rep  
> Shuichi - no regrets  
> Kaito - enabler  
> Maki - doesn't want to be here  
> Gonta - Best Boy  
> K1-B0 - doing his best  
> Miu - that one  
> Angie - with atua  
> Himiko - spite mage  
> Tenko - Aggressively loves girls  
> Korekiyo - the worse one  
> Kokichi - upset about the definition of ketchup  
> Ryoma - closest to hell  
> Rantaro - clever title  
> Kirumi - mother  
> Tsumugi - Fake weeb


	2. Blocked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [4:06am, January 6th]
> 
> Kokichi has added 1 person to Bitch
> 
> Kokichi: unban me
> 
>  
> 
> Shuichi: did you
> 
> Shuichi: did you make an entirely new chat, title it bitch, and add me to it just to tell me to unban you? You couldn't just, message me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so not every character will be in EVERY chapter, for the sake of my sanity, but aside from a few people who will most likely be in every chapter, i'll rotate who appears a lot each chapter  
> and you can let me know if you want to see more of someone
> 
> ALSO about Gonta: He sill refers to himself in third person, but no caveman speak. like in the japanese ver. where he mostly talks normally (right?).

**The Gay Agenda Of Class 79**

[4:03am, January 6th]

 

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : kind of fucked up you automatically call kiibo he

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : hes a robot does he even have a gender does he even know what gender IS

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : i'm going to strangle you

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : one of you block him until a reasonable hour

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : or forever

 

 _ **doing his best**_ : Besides! That's robophobic, I have a perfect understanding of gender.

 _ **doing his best**_ : And i happen to be perfectly content with being referred to as he

 

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : yeah but you dont

_**upset about the definition of ketchup** has been banned from posting until [12:00pm, January 8th]  or until unbanned by admin, by  **no regrets**_

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : thank fucking god

 

 _ **no regrets**_ : someone remind me to un-ban him tomorrow

* * *

 

**Bitch**

[4:06am, January 6th]

 ** _Kokichi_  ** _has added 1 person to **Bitch**_

 _ **Kokichi**_ : unban me

 

 _ **Shuichi**_ : did you

 _ **Shuichi**_ : did you make an entirely new chat, title it bitch, and add me to it just to tell me to unban you? You couldn't just, message me?

 

 _ **Kokichi**_ : i can't message anyone in the chat directly since i was banned DUH

 

 _ **Shuichi**_ : i know for a fact that isn't true.

 _ **Shuichi**_ : also, you left my admin privileges on so

_**Shuichi** has blocked _ _**Kokichi** from  **Bitch**_

* * *

**The Gay Agenda Of Class 79**

[2:05pm, January 6th]

 _ **clever title**_ : hey guys i'm going to be in south america for a week (or so) soon

 _ **clever title**_ : is there anything (that i'm Feasibly capable of getting) that you want me to bring you back

 _ **clever title**_ : no promises though

 

 _ **spite mage**_ : a hamburger

 

 _ **clever title:**_ i-

 

 _ **mother**_ : you could easily just get one here?

 _ **mother**_ : In fact, you could have asked me to make you one.

 

 _ **clever title**_ : you don't even want cheese?

 _ **clever title**_ : no more importantly i'm not bringing you a hamburger from south america

 _ **clever title**_ : even if i could get a hold of one and bring it back

 

 _ **spite mage**_ : worth a shot

 

 _ **the worse one**_ : you really shouldn't offer to do anything for our class

 _ **the worse one**_ : it's surprising the first thing said wasn't much, much worse

 

 _ **clever title**_ : while you're right, I choose to have a little faith in them

 _ **clever title**_ : also miu isn't here and kokichi is banned, so i don't think it could be that bad

 

_**no regrets's**  name has been changed to  **hostage situation**_

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ what

 

 _ **hostage situation**_ : Kaede is here right?

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : unfortuantely

 

 _ **hostage situation**_ :  the owner of this account has been taken hostage until the unbagkgu

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : until what

 

 _ **mother**_ : i think this is an attempt by Kokichi to get unbanned

 

 _ **spite mage**_ : no leave him banned

 

 _ **mother**_ : you know, you never had explained your reason for originally excluding him

 _ **mother**_ : I mean, i'm not surprised

 _ **mother**_ : but it seemed like he'd done something specific

 

 _ **spite mage**_ : yeah he did

 _ **spite mage**_ : existed

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : savage

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : ANYway, is that what this hostage situation is about

 

 _ **hostage situation**_ : it was

_**hostage situation** has unbanned  **upset about the definition of ketchup** from  **The Gay Agenda Of Class 79**_

_**hostage situation**_ : I don't know why he didn't just unblock himself when he took my laptop

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : ok there's a lot to dig into there

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : but YOU ACCESS THIS ON YOUR LAPTOP

 

 _ **hostage situation**_ : what?

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : YOUR LAPTOP

 

 _ **hostage situation**_ : i'm sorry i don't use my phone like the rest of you heathens what do you want from me

 

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : yeah who uses their PHONES to message each other

 

 _ **hostage situation**_ : you

 _ **hostage situation**_ : I Can See You On Your Phone

 _ **hostage situation**_ : right now

 

 _ **spite mage**_ : called out

 

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : Also!  **I** want something

 

 _ **clever title**_ : i'm afraid to ask

 

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : my NAME CHANGED

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : I mean! Honestly, we all already know the DISGRACE the definition of ketchup is.

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : ive had my fun watching you suffer bc of it. I need something NEW

 

_**hostage situation's** name has been changed to  **pet detective** by **Ultimate Class Rep**_

**_pet_ _detective_** : why

 

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : what the fuck kaede

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : here I am, begging for a new name, and you just go and change someone elses?

 _ **upset about the definition of ketchup**_ : you're breaking my poor heart

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : :)

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : wait i got it

 

 _ **clever title**_ **:** what did you get?

 

_**upset about the definition of ketchup's** name has been changed to  **5'2" & here to annoy you** by  **pet detective**_

_**5'2" & here to annoy you**_: that's

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: accurate

 

 _ **mother**_ : I feel like we've gotten far and away from the original topic

 

 _ **the worse one**_ : definitely

 

 _ **clever title**_ : i'll just figure it out if i see something someone might want while i'm there

 

 _ **Ultimate Class Rep**_ : wait one more thing

_**clever title's** name has been changed to  **adventure boi** by  **Ultimate Class Rep**_

 

 _ **the worse one**_ : "boi"

 

 _ **adventure boi**_ : i mean

 _ **adventure boi**_ : you're not wrong

* * *

 

**Bitch**

[6:07pm, January 6th]

 **_Shuichi_ ** _has unblocked **Kokichi** from  **Bitch**_

 

[7:01am, January 7th]

 _ **Shuichi**_ : no i did not

 

_**Shuichi's** name has been changed to  **a fool** by  **Kokichi**_

_**a fool:** why. no nevermind._

**_a fool_ ** _has removed themself from the chat_

**_Kokichi_ ** _has added 1 person to **Bitch**_

_**Kokichi:** no you're here forever_

 

_**a** **fool:** why_

* * *

 

 **The Gay Agenda Of Class 79**  

[9:04pm, January 7th]

 _ **enabler**_ : guys _  
_

_**enabler**_ : why this

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : what happened.

 

 _ **enabler**_ : maybe i didn't happen in the girls dorms but

 

 ** _doesn't want to be here_** : what didn't

 

 _ **enabler**_ : uh well does everything in the hallway seem fine?

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : yes

 

 _ **enabler:**_ okay so in our dorms.

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : what the fuck

 

 _ **enabler**_ : YOU SEE THEM TOO RIGHT

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: wh a

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: t he fu ck

 

 _ **enabler**_ : you don't seriously want me to believe you had NOTHING to do with it

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: i wish but i --- cant

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : could one of you fuckers please explain

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : there are so many

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : STOP BEING VAGUE

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: help

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : nevermind i dont care any more

 

 _ **enabler**_ : its just

 

 _ **closest to hell**_ : bugs

 _ **closest to hell**_ : i'd assume gonta had something to do with it

 

 _ **enabler**_ : yeah but

 _ **enabler**_ : they're just

 _ **enabler**_ : gonna get stepped on there

 _ **enabler**_ : and

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you:**_ where is gonta

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : he rarely uses his phone

 

 _ **Best Boy**_ : Sorry!

 _ **Best Boy**_ : You wanted to know where Gonta is?

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : uh yeah

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: W H Y GONTA

 

 _ **Best Boy**_ : Gonta doesn't understand, is something wrong?

 

 _ **enabler**_ : uh

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you: **_u h

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : the dorm hallway is full of bugs, and we're

 _ **pet detective**_ : worried. that they might be hurt. on accident. of course.

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: yea that

 

 _ **Best Boy**_ : oh no!

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : Y'all i'm outside and Gonta just went sprinting towards the dorms

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : it's actually sort of terrifying

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : did something happen?

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you:**_ did you forget how to scroll up

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : maybe I did

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : lets find out if i also forgot how to toss you out of a window

 

 _ **enabler**_ : annny way i guess that takes care of that?

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : great. now you can all shut up

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: but what about

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : do you want to be banned again. that can happen

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: jokes on you I have the admin's account passwords!

 

 ** _pet detective_** : you what

 

_**5'2" & here to annoy you **has gone offline_

 

 _ **pet** **detective** : _HEY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing when in pain is more difficult than i would have anticipated before the last chapter
> 
> names at the end of this chapter (excluding the names in bitch):  
> Kaede - Ultimate Class Rep  
> Shuichi - pet detective  
> Kaito - enabler  
> Maki - doesn't want to be here  
> Gonta - Best Boy  
> K1-B0 - doing his best  
> Miu - that one  
> Angie - with atua  
> Himiko - spite mage  
> Tenko - Aggressively loves girls  
> Korekiyo - the worse one  
> Kokichi - 5'2" & here to annoy you:  
> Ryoma - closest to hell  
> Rantaro - adventure boi  
> Kirumi - mother  
> Tsumugi - Fake weeb


	3. Pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pet detective: we don t deseve mom
> 
> space kid: "deseve"
> 
> doesn't want to be here: "deseve"
> 
> Aggressively loves girls: deseve
> 
> untrustworthy: deseve
> 
> pet detective: did you join just ot mock me
> 
> untrustworthy: i would never do that to my favourite person!
> 
> pet detective: lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome back to garbage
> 
> how do chapter title? no do

**The Gay Agenda Of Class 79**

[4:58pm, January 12th]

 _ **enabler**_ : hey @pet detective can u change my name to something

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : sure, of course

 

 _ **enabler**_ : "i almost don't want to ask"

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : kaito, please,

 

 _ **enabler**_ : what?

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : you're, at this point, like the only one who's name still isn't a sentence. you know how difficult it is to look at this chat. please. please spare me.

 

 _ **enabler**_ : you could have just said no

 _ **enabler**_ : I wouldn't want to make things more difficult for you,

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : thanks. but uh, hold on. if it's temporary

 

_**enabler's** name has been changed to  **i almost don't want to ask** by  **pet detective**_

_**i almost don't want to ask**_ : but are one of you missing............. a clown mask????

 _ **i almost don't want to ask**_ : ok you can change it again that was all

_**i amost don't want to ask's** name has been changed to  **space kid** by  **pet detective**_

_**space kid**_ : isn't that a bit, on the nose?

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : is that a camp camp reference

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : no comment

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : IT IS

 

 _ **space kid**_ : ok?

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : that means he technically just named you "Neil Armstrong jr."

 

 _ **space kid**_ : well, alright then

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : but, a clown?

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : where'd you find it

 

 _ **space kid**_ : classroom

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : huh

 

 _ **space kid**_ : oh

 _ **space kid**_ : of course, i should have asked you! Do you have any ideas?

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : one.

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: unneeded

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: where u at space cadet  u have something of mine

 

 _ **space kid**_ : why are you typing like that

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : theory confirmed

 

 _ **space kid**_ : still at the classroom?

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : why

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : yeah, why haven't you left yet?

 

 _ **space kid**_ : well you see

 _ **space kid**_ : h

 

[5:06pm, January 12th]

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : you can just send one letter and then say nothing for two minutes

 

 _ **that one**_ : YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FUCKING BELIEVE THES HIT I JuST SAW

 _ **that one**_ : in FACT it's probably not even worth Telling you

 _ **that one**_ : but i might be conviced

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : Miu, what?

 

 _ **that one**_ : u gotta do better than THAT. you think i just give out information for FREE

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : okay.

 _ **pet detective**_ : I can live without knowing.

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : :0

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: miu

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: miu you bitch you shut the fuck up

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : jesus

 

 _ **that one**_ : !!

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : what... happened

 

 _ **space kid**_ : WHERE DID YOU GO YOU TINY MOTHERFUCKER

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : i repeat: WHAT HAPPENED

 

 _ **5'2" & here to annoy you**_: nothing

_**5'2" & here to annoy you's **name has been changed to **untrustworthy** by  **pet detective**_

_**untrustworthy**_ : hey

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : would someone, please, explain

 

 _ **that one**_ : So you know those stairs up to the classrooms

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : i'm aware, yes

 

 _ **that one**_ : picture this shit

 _ **that one**_ : I'm just walking there, minding my own business when what do I see but the fucking BEST COLLISION IVE EVER SEEN

 _ **that one**_ : i wished i could have filmed this shit it would go perfect on some kind of bullshit compliation

 _ **that one**_ : so our classroom is right by the stiars right?

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : i'm begging you, please, for the love of god just use their actual names

 

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : but first, for no reason, where the fuck are you

 

 _ **that one**_ : ha like i'd tell you that

 

 _ **space kid**_ : we could. not recount this

 

 _ **that one**_ : anywya k

 _ **that one**_ : *kaito

 _ **that one**_ : is standing there, like a loser

 

 _ **space kid**_ : wha

 

 _ **that one**_ : when right the fuck out of nowhere, sliding down the hall like a hocky puck

 _ **that one**_ : ha like the same size too

 

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : i'm going to break into your room and break your computer you whore

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : for once i don't doubt those words

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : :/

 

 _ **that one**_ : FUCK YOu

 _ **that one**_ : try it i'll kill you

 _ **that one**_ : ANYWYA

 _ **that one**_ : so the dumbass comes sliding down the hall, grabs the thing the other idiot his holding, and just

 _ **that one**_ : keeps sliding

 _ **that one**_ : and takes them BOTH DOWN

 _ **that one**_ : so FWAMP they hit the ground

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : please dont make a comparision

 

 _ **that one**_ : uGH fine

 _ **that one**_ : SO THEY HIT THE GROUND, and go sliding STILL, right down the stairs.

 _ **that one**_ ; and ONE OF THEM SCREAMS LIKE A TINY GIRL

 ** _that one_ : **and next thing I hear is the fuckers yelling at each other

 _ **that one**_ : so, obviously i go to see the results and then the little fucker SPRINTS down the hall with the other idiot in hot pursuit

 

 _ **Fake weeb**_ : well, that sounds

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : somehow unsurprising

 

 _ **space kid**_ : I TRIED TO BE NICE

 

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : i didn't do anything shut up

 

* * *

**The Gay Agenda Of Class 79**

[2:46am, January 14th]

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : does anyone else truly, desperately, want pizza

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : i swear to fucking god

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : it is 2 in the fucking morning

 

 _ **space kid**_ : understandable, but

 _ **space kid**_ : now that i've read the word pizza i can't unread it

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : where's mom when you need her

 

 _ **mother**_ : researching how to give up custody

 

 _ **space kid**_ : ow

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : you can't even order a pizza at this time of day

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : b

 _ **pet detective**_ : uy frozon piza

 

 _ **space kid**_ : you ok there 

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : ye

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : nobodies going to the store at - 3 in the morning to buy a fucking frozen pizza

 

 _ **space kid**_ : "frozon"

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : :(

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : wellllll

 

 _ **mother**_ : no

 _ **mother**_ : please

 

 _ **Aggressively love girls**_ : Kirumi....

 

 _ **mother**_ : fine, if you request that

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : we don t deseve mom

 

 _ **space kid**_ : "deseve"

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : "deseve"

 

 ** _Aggressively_** _ **loves girls**_ : deseve

 

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : deseve

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : did you join just ot mock me

 

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : i would never do that to my favourite person!

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : lie

 

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : :)

 

 _ **mother**_ : how many pizza's will be required

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : two!

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : +3

 

 _ **mother**_ : 5?

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : one for each person

 

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : six of us are online?

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here**_ : i know what I said

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : its ok i couldn't eat an entire piza myself

 _ **pet detective**_ : "pizza"* ***

 

 _ **mother**_ : alright, then.

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls**_ : THANK YOU

 

* * *

**Bitch**

[3:04am, January 14h]

 _ **a fool**_ : come aquire pizza

**a fool** _: acquire_

 

* * *

 

**Training sessions**

[3:05am, January 15th]

 _ **Maki**_ : hey

 _ **Maki**_ : I overestimated myself

 _ **Maki**_ : come take this out of my sight.....

 

 _ **Kaito**_ : we're on different sides of the building

 

 _ **Maki**_ : ....

 

 _ **Kaito**_ : but

 _ **Kaito**_ : I guess I can't just leave one of my sidekicks in their time of need!

 

* * *

**The Gay Agenda Of Class 79**

[8:13am, January 14th]

_**Ultimate Class Rep's** name has been changed to  **disappointed**_

_**disappointed**_ : did you really use this group chat at 2/3am to get pizza

 _ **disappointed**_ : and no one woke me?

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : sorywhwfeo kaede hoewd

 

 _ **disappointed**_ : uh what

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : "sorry kaede"

 _ **pet detective**_ : he passed out trying to type :)

 

 _ **disappointed**_ : why the smiley face

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : who knows :)

 

* * *

 

**The Gay Agenda Of Class 79**

[12:52pm, January 14th]

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : what do the smiley faces mean

 _ **pet detective**_ : we ate pizza and passed out WHAT ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 

 _ **disappointed**_ : you tell me

 

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : who knows

 

 _ **space kid**_ : why did we add him again

 

 _ **disappointed**_ : the gay agenda of class 79 needed the person in our class who was arguably the most fitting of that description in it

 

 _ **space kid**_ : wait i just figured it out. the real purpose, the real truth of the organization that "definitely" "exists"

 _ **space kid**_ : to spread the gay agenda

 

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : first of all fuck you and  your quotes

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : second of all

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : you caught me! you figured out my secret plot

 

 _ **disappointed**_ : hey guys what happened to shuichi?

 

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : he passed out again

 

 _ **disappointed**_ : did he

 

 _ **pet detective**_ : yes definitely

 

 _ **disappointed**_ : wait didn't you say you had our passwords

 _ **disappointed**_ : so how can we be sure

 

 _ **untrustworthy**_ : that's a good argument! but I raise you THIS

_**untrustworthy** has posted a photo_

 

 _ **disappointed**_ : oh yep i guess that is true then

 _ **disappointed**_ : also aw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was not supposed to be done this quickly nor be this long but eh
> 
> edit/update: i don't know when i'll next up date (probably not as quickly as these three have been) bc i just keep being more & more in pain
> 
> names at the end of this chapter (excluding the names in bitch):  
> Kaede - disappointed  
> Shuichi - pet detective  
> Kaito - space kid  
> Maki - doesn't want to be here  
> Gonta - Best Boy  
> K1-B0 - doing his best  
> Miu - that one  
> Angie - with atua  
> Himiko - spite mage  
> Tenko - Aggressively loves girls  
> Korekiyo - the worse one  
> Kokichi - untrustworty  
> Ryoma - closest to hell  
> Rantaro - adventure boi  
> Kirumi - mother  
> Tsumugi - Fake weeb


	4. lock down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> untrustworthy: that’s a crime  
> untrustworthy: you’re a criminal now!  
> untrustworthy: someone block her from the chat I can’t be associated with a criminal!
> 
> disappointed: you’re a criminal
> 
> untrustworthy: i can’t believe you would say something like that about me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW ANGRY TYPING THIS CHAPTER MADE ME  
> not bc of the chapter itself but bc things kept unbolding for no fuckin reason whiel i was typing ahhhhh  
> anyway welcome back to trash

**This is a notice to all students: Hopes Peak academy is currently under lockdown, please remain in your dorms, and lock your doors, until further notice. Students not currently in their dorms, please find the nearest classroom and remain there.**

* * *

 

**The Gay Agenda Of Class 79**

[6:34pm, January 20th]

_**disappointed** has changed the chat name from  **The Gay Agenda Of Class 79**  to  **Safety measure**_

**disappointed:**  They didn’t give us much information about the lock down, but we should all be careful. who’s in their dorms/safe?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_  i am

 

 _ **space kid**_ **:**  yeah, here

 

 ** _doesn’t want to be here:_**  accounted for. also make sure your phones (or laptop) are muted

 

 ** _pet detective:_  **right.

 

 _ **doing his best:**  _I’m in my dorm.

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_  yep!

 

[6:38pm, January 20th]

 

 ** _disappointed_ :** I think that’s everyone who’s going to respond… i hope the others are alright

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_  i’m sure they’re fineee

 _ **untrustworthy:**_  probably

 

 ** _pet detective_ :** still.

 

 ** _doesn’t want to be here:_  **just listen for anything weird

 

 _ **doing his best:**  _um, about that.

 _ **doing his best:**  _i believe i heard a door opening nearby.

 

 _ **pet detective:**  _any idea what it was?

 

 _ **doing his best:**_  One of the dorms doors, I think.

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_  I wouldn’t worry about it!

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ is that your way of saying it was you?

 

 _ **space kid:**_  of  _course_ it was

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_  calm down. I just need to check on something~

 

 _ **pet detective:**  _in the middle of a lock down?

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_  aw are you worried about me?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_  .

 

 _ **doesn’t want to be here:**_ let it go. at worse maybe an intruder will get to him.

 

 ** _space kid_ :** which would be bad

 

 _ **doesn’t want to be here:**_ eh

 

 ** _Best Boy:_  **Oh! Gonta did not check phone, sorry. 

 

 _ **doing his best:**  _Are you in your dorm?

 

 _ **Best Boy:**  _yes!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_  well there’s +1

 

_**disappointed:**  good._

**_disappointed_ : **just be safe. don’t leave. and lock your door. don’t let anyone in.

 _ **disappointed:**  _even though you can probably handle yourself

 

 _ **Best Boy:**  _Okay! 

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**  _I’m surprised the school was so worried! I mean, at  _least_  people like Gonta and Maki will be fine

 

 ** _disappointed_ : **why Maki

 

 _ **doesn’t want to be here:**  _….

 

 ** _space kid:_  **no matter who they are, we shouldn’t risk it, if the school put us on lock down!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_  which is why we should all  _stay in our dorms_

 

 ** _untrustworthy_ :** unfortunately, i can’t go back now 

 

 ** _pet detective:_  **why not

 

 _ **Best Boy:**_  You told Gonta not to leave dorm, and to lock door.

 

 ** _doing his best:_  **Yes, but what does that have to do with it?

 

 ** _pet detective:_  **oh. is that “what you had to check on”

 

 _ **untrustworthy** :_ nope. why would that be worth leaving my dorm?

 _ **untrustworthy:**  _gonta can take care of himself. he just happened to be on my way

 _ **untrustworthy:**_  but now i’m trapped here!

 

 _ **disappointed:**  _yeah, sure,

 

 _ **space kid:**_  uh anyway

 _ **space kid:**  _does anyone know where the others are? 

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ miu was going to talk to a 2nd year student about a computer. she’s probably still by the 2nd year classrooms!

 

 ** _pet detective:_  **i’m pretty sure both korekiyo and rantaro aren’t on school grounds

 

 _ **untrustworthy** : _out and doing who knows what

 

 ** _space kid:_  **“who knows” pretty sure they’re doing what they always are

 

 ** _doesn’t want to be here:_  **don’t know where they are. but himiko and tenko were together

* * *

**Notice to all students: We are now out of lock down, please proceed as usual.**

* * *

 

**Safety measure**

[7:01pm, January 20th]

 _ **disappointed:**_  oh. I guess it doesn’t matter now..

 

 ** _pet detective:_  **but what was that about?

 

 ** _space kid:_  **who knows

 

 ** _untrustworthy:_  **we should investigate !

* * *

**Safety measure**

[2:23pm, January 21st]

 ** _that one:_  **any of you LOSERS know what the key to success is?

 

 ** _untrustworthy:_**  being feared, respected, & loved by 10′s of thousands of people

 

 ** _that one:_  **uh NO

 ** _that one:_  **the key to success is being ME

 

 ** _untrustworthy:_**  unrealistic. blocked.

 

 _ **space kid** :_ did he really just go offline

 

 ** _pet detective:_  **yeah

 

_**doing his best**  has posted a photo_

**doing his best:**  i think this is why

 

 ** _space kid:_**  what are you three doing?

 

 ** _pet detective:_  **investigating

 ** _pet detective:_  **gonta wanted to help and well

 ** _pet detective:_**  how do i say no to that

 

 ** _doesn’t want to be here:_  **and the other one?

 

 ** _pet detective:_**  im not good at telling people no

 

 ** _untrustworthy:_**  i m back

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ and ver y conviiicing 

 

 ** _doesn’t want to be here:_  **what

 

 _ **doing his best:**  _now he’s on gonta’s shoulders

 

 ** _untrustworthy:_**  typing is aaa stru ggle

 

 ** _pet detective:_**  …..

 

 _ **disappointed:**_  with these three its like

 

 ** _space kid:_  **like?

 

 ** _disappointed:_  **good cop, bad cop, & exhausted cop

 

 ** _pet detective:_**  only true friends know my only real trait is being exhausted

 

 ** _disappointed:_**  <3

 

 _ **untrustworthy** :_ i can’t believe you would imp ly gonnta is bad cop

 

 ** _space kid:_**  no

 

 ** _that one:_  **ANYWAY your “investigation”” is POINTLESS

 

 _ **untrustworthy** :_ like your existence

 

 ** _that one:_  **?!

 

 ** _pet detective:_**  why’s that?

 

 ** _doesn’t want to be here:_  **are u just ignoring that?

 

 ** _pet detective:_  **like most things

 

 _ **disappointed** :_ why, is the investigation pointless?

 

 ** _that one:_**  while you idiots were busy

 

 ** _doesn’t want to be here:_**  stop right there

 

 ** _that one:_**  hey i wasn’t done

 

 ** _doesn’t want to be here:_  **if you want to finish your statements don’t double post

 

 ** _disappointed:_  **more like triple post

 

 _ **that one:**_ ug

 _ **that one:**_ whatever

 _ **that one:** _ while you losers were too busy jerking off

 

 _ **doesn’t want to be here:**_ …

 

 _ **that one:**_ what

 

 _ **doesn’t want to be here:** _ i thought i had stopped her, but she continued anyway

 

 _ **that one:**_ you can’t stop my brilliance

 

 _ **untrustworthy:** _ not while your alive maybe

 

 _ **doesn’t want to be here:** _ you shut the fuck up

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ you're not allowed to say things i agree with

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ anyway?

 

 _ **that one:**_ I got into the school’s security system!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ that’s a crime

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ you’re a criminal now!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ someone block her from the chat I can’t be associated with a criminal!

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ you’re a criminal

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ i can’t believe you would say something like that about me!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ i don’t condone this

 _ **pet detective:**_ but what did you find out?

 

 _ **that one:**_ i don’t know

 _ **that one:** _ you could beg me for that information :)

 

 _ **space kid:**_ not this again

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ miu, please

 

 _ **that one:**_ !

 _ **that one:** _ maybe if my name was changed to something greater

_**that one’s** name has been changed to **best girl** by **disappointed**_

_**best girl:**_ now that’s more like it!

 

 _ **space kid:**_ and more untrue

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ ^sava ge

 

 _ **best girl:**_ ?!?!

 

 _ **doesn’t want to be here:** _ well i didn’t expect that

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ then who is?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ i can guess

 

 _ **untrustworthy:** _ its pretty obvious who HE thinks it is

 

 _ **space kid:**_ anyway

 _ **space kid:** _ miu was saying something about the information she got

 _ **space kid:** _ via crime

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_  “via” oh wow

 

 _ **best girl:** _ YES

 _ **best girl:**_ I was saying that the lockdown

 _ **best girl:**_ Was caused by oNE OF OUR OWN STUDENTS

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ shocking.

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ …

 _ **pet detective:**_ makes sense

 

 _ **disappointed:** _ did you already find that out?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ we don’t know who, if that helps?

 

 _ **best girl:** _ WELL I DO KNOW WHO

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ was it that third year guy

 

 _ **best girl**_ : …..

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ uhhhh what a waste of ~time~

 

 _ **best girl:** _ well how would you have known!!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ theres a story about two  years ago  & a bomb threat so

 

 _ **pet detective:** _ you didn’t feel the need to mention that?

 

 _ **untrustworthy:** _ you didn’t ask!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there'll probably be another (maybe shorter?) chapter following this one shortly
> 
> names at the end of this chapter:  
> Kaede - disappointed  
> Shuichi - pet detective  
> Kaito - space kid  
> Maki - doesn't want to be here  
> Gonta - Best Boy  
> K1-B0 - doing his best  
> Miu - best girl  
> Angie - with atua  
> Himiko - spite mage  
> Tenko - Aggressively loves girls  
> Korekiyo - the worse one  
> Kokichi - untrustworty  
> Ryoma - closest to hell  
> Rantaro - adventure boi  
> Kirumi - mother  
> Tsumugi - Fake weeb


	5. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a meme  
> (this chapter is a result of me attempting to fill a request for this story. I have my own plans for this story, but do to the nature of it, if there's something you want to request something I'll see what I can do!)

**Safety measure**

[4:31pm, January 25th]

 _ **disappointed:**_ alright, who's present we need to have a discussion

 

 _ **space kid**_ : ?

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ oh nooo

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ are we in trouble

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ maybe

 

 _ **mother:**_ i'm here

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ yeah

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ unfortunately i'm still here

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ present!

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ me too

 

[4:38pm, January 25th]

 _ **disappointed:**_ i guess that's everyone.

 _ **disappointed:**_ okay. who did it

 

 _ **space kid:**_ did what?

 

 _ **mother:**_ i believe she's talking about the classroom. where her desk, and the window near it, have been broken.

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ oh no, what a tragedy

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ i wonder who could have done it

 

 _ **space kid:**_ probably you

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ i would never!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ i'm not a savage. breaking things is way too direct

 

 _ **mother:**_ there's no need to accuse anyone. I did it. I was trying to complete a request made of me, and it got caught up in it. I'll fix it before school tomorrow.

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ i know you didn't do it kirumi

 

 _ **mother:**_ no, i did

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ trust me on this: that's a lie

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ which you would probably know

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ are you accusing me of something?! you wound me!

 

 _ **space kid:**_ well it WAS you, wasn't it?

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ nope!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ and anyway. himiko's been pretty quiet

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ what

 ** _spite_** _ **mage:**_ i didn't do anything!

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ how dare you accuse Himiko!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ you're right!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ you've been JUST as quiet

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ accusing Tenko doesn't change the fact that you probably did it

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ yeah!

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ and anyway! we aren't the only ones being quiet

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ i just got back

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ and the first thing you did was destroy kaede's desk?! I can't believe you

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ i didn't do it.

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ but you knew it had been done?

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ she literally just told us.

 

 ** _untrustworthy_** _ **:**_ Incorrect! Kirumi told us.

 

 _ **space kid:**_ he's not wrong

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ he's just accusing everyone else

 

 _ **space kid:**_ yeah true

 

 ** _untrustworthy_** _ **:**_ i'm just trying to solve this mystery!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ after all, it HAS to be someone here. or else Kaede wouldn't be so set one one of us admitting it, would she?

 

 _ **mother:**_ it was. it was me.

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ I know it wasn't you. I know who it was, I just want them to admit it

 

 _ **space kid:**_ so you know it wasn't me, so i don't need to be here

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ not so fast!

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ it wasn't kaito

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ ohhh you don't think so?

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ it wasn't broken when we left class, and we've been together this whole time

 

 _ **space kid:**_ yeah!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ oh have you? that's fine, i know it wasn't either of you!

 

 _ **space kid:**_ then why did you accuse us!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ now you have an alibi!

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ can't we just agree you did it and move on

 

 _ **mother:**_ but

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ is that what we all think?

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ yes!

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ i think so

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ but I didn't! Jeeze you guys are really accusatory

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ you were the one accusing us!

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ typical

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ fine. that's settled

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ oh? well, if you agree then.

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ you wouldn't let the real person go, would you

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ kaede

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ anyway,

 _ **disappointed:**_ kirumi, would you help me fix it later?

 

 _ **mother:**_ yes, ive been saying so from the beginning 

* * *

**Bitch**

[4:54pm, January 25]

_**Kokichi** has added 1 person to **Bitch**_

_**Kokichi** has changed the chat name from  **Bitch** to **Liars jail**_

_**a fool's** name has been changed to **the exception** by **Kokichi**_

_**Kaede's** name has been changed to **desk breaker** by **Kokichi**_

 

 ** _desk breaker:_ ** what

 

 _ **Kokichi:**_ why'd ya do it

 

 _ **desk breaker:**_ why are you typing like that

 

 _ **Kokichi:**_ avoiding the question!

 

 _ **the exception:**_ what happened

 

 _ **Kokichi:**_ don't worry about it

 

 _ **desk breaker:**_.....

 _ **desk breaker:**_ it wasn't actually my desk i just moved it

 

 _ **the exception:**_ i feel like i missed something

 

 _ **desk breaker:**_ it was an accident!

 _ **desk breaker:**_ but i broke it so at least i could be the one with the broken desk

 

 _ **Kokichi:**_ an accident she says

 

 _ **desk breaker:**_ and then i thought.....

 _ **desk breaker:**_ a mystery would bring us together

 

 _ **Kokichi:**_ how'd that work out for ya

 

 _ **desk breaker:**_ why "ya"

 _ **desk breaker:**_ and... it didn't

 

 _ **the exception:**_ nevermind i figured it out

 

 _ **desk breaker:**_ who are you btw

 

 _ **the exception:**_ shuichi

 

 _ **desk breaker:**_ wait _  
_

_**desk breaker:** why do you and kokichi have a group chat with just you named "bitch"_

 

 _ **Kokichi:** _ it's actually named "liars jail" now

 

 _ **the exception:**_ uh

 _ **the exceptoin:**_ oh right, it's from when we blocked him

 

 _ **Kokichi:**_ /you/ blocked me

 _ **Kokichi:**_ kaede had nothing to do with it

 

 _ **desk breaker:**_ ok then............. if you say so. can you remove me now?

 

 _ **Kokichi:**_ no. you live here now

 _ **Kokichi:**_ in liars jail

 

 _ **the exception:**_ yeah sure

 

 _ **Kokichi:**_ shuichi no!

 

_**desk breaker** has been removed by  **the exception**_

 

 _ **Kokichi:**_ traitor

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sure there are lots of things that "liars jail" can be called a reference to  
> but for me it's that vine (? or was it post vine?) of proZD's
> 
> Kaede never even explains how she did it. i wonder why? (the truth is, i don't know I couldn't think of a good reason but you know, whatever, its a chatfic this is allowed right)
> 
> *names remain unchanged from the previous chapter (except in liars jail)


	6. None free of sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> untrustworthy: see  
> untrustworthy: we're all doomed  
> untrustworthy: hell awaits us  
> untrustworthy: except you gonta. you're doing great
> 
> Best boy: thank you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i looked up their birthday's and discovered something horrible
> 
> so this is a shorter chapter for that sake

**Safety measure**

[8:06am, January 26th]

 _ **untrustworthy: @pet detective**_ change the chat name for me

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ depends on what to

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ "we're all going to hell"

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ hm

_**pet detective** has changed the chat name to  **we wont go to heaven**_

 

 ** _untrustworthy_ :** close enough!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ something terrible has occurred

 

 _ **with atua**_ : you aren't wrong with that title

 _ **with atua:**_ but what's this?

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ we are all terrible, horrible people. but mostly all of y'all

 

 _ **space kid:**_ "y'all"

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ do you KNOW what today is

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ the 26th

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ saturday?

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ exactly!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ what happened

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ he's probably just trying to mess with us

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ have any of you LOOKED at your student handbooks

 

 _ **space kid:**_ no

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ no

 

 ** _doesn't want to be here:_**...

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ no?

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ just explain!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ the 23rd!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ was a veryyyyy important day

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ it was?

 

 _ **Best boy:**_ oh no, the 23rd was important?

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ sweet summer child

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ or should i say WINTER child

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ here's a hint! the 9th was similar, but with a far less important person

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ what ABOUT the 9th you degenerate

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ we did stuff on the ninth

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ you did?

 _ **pet detective:**_ oh right, the girls  & kiibo did right

 

 _ **with atua:**_ yes

 _ **with atua:**_ we were celebrating the birthday of tenko

 

 _ **space kid:**_ so the 23rd was a birthday?

 _ **space kid:**_ is this some bullshit way to tell us we forgot your birthday

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ how dare you!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ this isn't about me!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ it's about how none of us are free of sin!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ we'll all go to hell

 

 _ **with atua:**_ you could change that if you really, really dedicated yourself to atua

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ no im definitely going to hell

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ but this is a sin even i cant forgive!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ like murder

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ hhhhhhh

 

 _ **Best boy:**_ Gonta doesn't think any of you will go to hell!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ pure

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ which is the problem!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ wait no

 _ **pet detective:**_ oh no

 

 _ **space kid:**_???

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ was it

 _ **pet detective:**_ was it gonta's birthday

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ bingo!!

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ shit

 

 _ **space kid:**_ oh no

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ oh

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ oh no

 

 _ **with atua:**_ oh dear

 

 _ **Best boy:**_ oh!

 _ **Best boy:**_ Gonta forgot too!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ see

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ we're all doomed

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ hell awaits us

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ except you gonta. you're doing great

 

 _ **Best boy:**_ thank you!

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ uuuu

 _ **spite mage:**_ we can fix this

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ yes! We'll just celebrate late!

 

 _ **space kid:**_ yeah!

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ where's kirumi when you need her

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ why?

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ cake? thats... what people have on their birtday

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ "what people have"

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ gee are we sure she isn't the robot

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_....

 

 _ **space kid:**_ anyway!

 _ **space kid:**_ @mother please help

 

 _ **mother:**_ huh

 

 _ **with atua:**_ she's here!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ we missed gonta's birthday

 

 _ **mother:**_ i wasnt' aware our entire class deserved damnation

 

 _ **pet detective:**_?!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ we're on the same page i see!

 

 _ **mother:**_ what do we need?

 

 _ **space kid:**_ a cake!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ bee cake

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ not made of bees

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ you know

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ i'm surprised you're so intent on this

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ even I have a heart my dude

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ please never call me that

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ "my love"?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ somehow worse

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ </3

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ I will decorate the lobby! would one of you help me?

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ sure

 

 _ **spite mage:**_...........yea

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ and  _i_ will tell everyone else!!

* * *

  **we wont go to heaven**

[2:18am, January 27th]

 _ **pet detective:**_ hey i have a question

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ i hope its for me! bc everyone else is offline

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ it is

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ then why not use liar jail?!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ i already had this open

 _ **pet detective:**_ anyway

 _ **pet detective:**_ i'm surprised you were the one to bring up gonta's birthday

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ ohhhh

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ that's mean, i can't believe you think so little of me! heh

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ besides, EVERYONE cares about gonta

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ if you say so

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ aw do you not believe that's it?

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ ye of little faith!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ besides he reminds me of someone too

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ someone?

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ ah ah that's all i have to say!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ it wouldn't be any fun if i went and told you everything!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ you've told me "nothing"

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ ha whoops too bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> names have remained the same this chapter! except the chat name
> 
>  
> 
> fun fact: apparently me and tsumugi share a birthday  
> dont know how i feel about that to be honest


	7. Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mother: bleach
> 
> untrustworthy: jesus
> 
> closest to hell: a fine drink
> 
> adventure boi: no
> 
> pet detective: please don't drink bleach  
> pet detective: there are less painful ways to die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't have an excuse for this  
> 1/2 a filled request

**we wont go to heaven**

[7:53pm, January 28th]

 _ **best girl:**_ Y'ALL FUCKERS KNOW WHATS HOT

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ like... spicy hot or

 

 _ **best girl:**_ oh my fucking god

 

 _ **space kid:**_ ketchup, apparently

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ still not over that either?

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ is anyone?

 

 _ **space kid:**_ holy shit he actually spoke in chat

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ a fair reaction

 

 _ **best girl:**_ ANYWAY you dumb bitches don't know that i was talking about mYSELF

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_.....

 

 _ **space kid:**_....

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ why did i show up for this

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ oh so she meant that kind of hot

 _ **adventure boi:**_ i mean

 _ **adventure boi:**_ sure? i guess????

 _ **adventure boi:**_ if that fits your aesthetic sensibilities

 

 ** _doesn't want to be here:_** "that"

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ ah, our token ace, back at it again

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ was i ever at it before

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ "token ace"

 

 _ **space kid:**_ token aro/ace?

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ it me

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ mhm

 

 _ **best girl:**_ UGH how can you not see how AESTHETICALLY PERFECT i am

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ sorry too busy not caring

 

 _ **space kid:**_ hars

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ i cant believe kaito was killed mid-word

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ maki why

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ i didn't do shit

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ be on my side

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ ?

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ ace solidarity

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ okay

 

 _ **space kid:**_ you know now that i think about it

 _ **space kid:**_ kinda fucked up kaede took maki's admin rights away

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ why

 

 _ **space kid:**_ she's ALSO part of the bi solidarity, obviously

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ oh right thats true

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ i'm gaining powerful allies so i can crush every one of you

 

 _ **best girl:**_ ha! GOOD luck wiht that

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ pretty sure you can crush us anyway

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ some people are into that!

 

 _ **space kid:**_ god where did you come from

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ like for example

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ hey let me double post b4 you type

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ anyway

 _ **untrustworhty:**_ like kaito

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ and i dont know

 

 ** _space kid:_** fight me

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ are we just ignoring that "i dont know' or

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ i'm going to strangle him

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ and he can find out

 

 _ **best girl:**_ HEY

 _ **best girl:**_ WEVE GOTTEN OFF TOPIC

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ good

 

 _ **space kid:**_ yea

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ if we got back on topic id leave

 

 _ **best girl:**_ D:

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[2:56pm, January 29th]

 _ **disappointed:**_ hey guys i have an idea!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ shoot

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ we should all play  a game together to strengthen our frankly poor bond as a class

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_........ok

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ make me a mod first

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ ...no

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ ???

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ listen, i love you your great, but i don't trust you not to block people unncessarily

 _ **disappointed:**_ sorry

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ it's completely necessary

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ just admit you want me blocked coward

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ i want you dead

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ uh anyway, kaede that game?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ yeah..

 

 _ **mother:**_ is this really necessary?

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ there was literally just a death threat, so yes

 

 _ **space kid:**_ that's just how it be sometimes

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ on this bitch of an earth

 

 _ **space kid:**_ thanks man you always have my back

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ alright bye

 

 _ **space kid:**_ no wait stay!

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_.........................

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ fine

 

 _ **space kid:**_ great!

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ ever feel like kaito has too much power

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ no

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ no

 

 _ **space kid:**  _i wouldn't say that!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ yes

 

 _ **disappointed:**_ anyway!

_**disappointed's** name has been changed to  **Captain**_

_**Captain:**_ it's just like

 _ **Captain:**_ madlibs

 

 _ **space kid:**_ is that really a good idea with us?

 

 _ **Captain:**_ i went though a few ideas but...

 

 _ **mother:**_ this is probably the least destructive idea.

 

 _ **Captain:**_ yeah

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ fair enough.

 

 _ **Captain:**_ anyway! Someone give me an adjective 

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ sad

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ ^no

 _ **pet detective:**_ salty

 

 _ **space kid:**_ soft

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ horrible

 

 _ **Captain:**_ you guys

 _ **Captain:**_ okay, salty.

 _ **Captain:**_ don't give me anymore, so everyone has a chance

 _ **Captain:**_ i think

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ okay

 

 _ **Captain:**_ verb ending in -ed

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ killed

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_.........

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ disappeared

 _ **adventure boi:**_ is that a verb fuck how do language

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ watered

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_...........what

 

 _ **Captain:**_... okay watered

 _ **Captain:**_ noun (plural)

 

 _ **space kid:**_ ships

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ sure, that

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ heh

 

 _ **space kid:**_ ???

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ oh nothing

 

 _ **Captain:**_ ship then...

 _ **Captain:**_ a liquid

 _ **Captain:**_ and i swear to god

 

 _ **mother:**_ bleach

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ jesus

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ a fine drink

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ no

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ please don't drink bleach

 _ **pet detective:**_ there are less painful ways to die

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ yeah

 

 _ **Captain:**_ bleach.......then

 _ **Captain:**_ plural noun!

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ damn it

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ had something?

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ no

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ cats

 

 _ **Captain:**_ thats... surprisingly normal?

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ for you, ryoma

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_............................

 _ **closest to hell:**_.......................

 

 _ **Captain:**_ anyway

 _ **Captain:**_ famous person?

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ literally half of our fellow students

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ himiko

 

 _ **Captain:**_ shit you right

 _ **Captain:**_ place

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ i mean at this point we might as well just go with hopes peak, right

 

 _ **Captain:**_ sure

 _ **Captain:**_ occupatoin

 _ **Captain:**_ wait is anyone here left?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ just you

 

 _ **Captain:**_ okay!

 _ **Captain:**_ then........ CEO?

 _ **Captain:**_  still stuff left so go wild (please dont)

 _ **Captain:**_ noun

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ bottle

 

 _ **Captain:**_ first come first serve

 _ **Captain:**_ nationality

 

 _ **mother:**_ would it not be obvious

 _ **mother:**_ to go with japanese

 

 _ **Captain:**_ good point! 

 _ **Captain:**_ female celebrity

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ you

 

 _ **Captain:**_ i'm not

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ go with it anyway

 

 _ **space kid:**_ yeah!

 

 _ **Captain:**_ fine...

 _ **Captain:**_ noun

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ box

 

 _ **Captain:**_ well that sure is normal

 _ **Captain:**_ Female friend

 

 _ **space kid:**_ Maki!

 

 _ **Captain:**_ done!

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ :/

 

 _ **Captain:**_ plural noun!

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ victims

 

 _ **space kid:**_ uh

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ thats your fault

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ hows it feel to not be you for once

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ pretty good actually

 

 _ **Captain:**_ a number...

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ 16

 

 _ **Captain:**_ eh

 _ **Captain:**_ last one!

 ** _Captain:_** adjective!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ moist

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ no

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ cursed

 

 _ **Captain:**_.........welp

 _ **Captain:**_ here's the horrible thing you've created

 

 _ **space kid:**_ WE created you aren't free of this

 

 _ **Captain:**_ eh

 _ **Captain:**_   I enjoy long, Salty walks on the beach, getting Watered in the rain and serendipitous encounters with Ships. I really like piña coladas mixed with Bleach, and romantic, candle-lit Cats. I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to Himiko. I travel frequently, especially to Hopes Peak, when I am not busy with work. (I am a CEO.) I am looking for Bottle and beauty in the form of a Japanese goddess. She should have the physique of Kaede and the Box of Maki. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my Victims. I know I’m not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 16 days ago, and I have since become more Moist. 

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ salty walks on the beach, my favourite

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ "pina coladas mixed with bleach" ah yes, the classic drink

 

 _ **space kid:**_ "wash my victims"

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ that raises a lot of questions

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ questions i dont want answers too

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ i'm... picturing horrible things

 

 _ **mother:**_ 16 days is apparently a very long time.

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ long enough to

 ** _untrustworthy_** _ **:**_ no i can't do it i just cant

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ what

 _ **pet detective:**_ you can't do it

 _ **pet detective:**_ you can't become more moist

 _ **pet detective:**_ is that what youre saying

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ please

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ please

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ you submitted the word moist

 _ **pet detective:**_ now you live with the phrase  _become more moist_

 

 _ **untrustworthy:** _ only.............

 _ **untrustworthy:** _ for you

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ hey maki

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ yea

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ i need a favor

 

 _ **space kid:**_ guys no!

 

 _ **Captain:**_ i'm still not over _wash my victims_

 

 ** _adventure boi:_** yeah

 

 _ **mother:**_ that is

 _ **mother:**_ perhaps the one thing i would not do even if i was capable

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ aw mom are you saying you wont wash my victims for me

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ you're about the be a victim

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ .......anyway

 _ **closest to hell:**_ i've got stuff to do

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ yeah me too.

 

 _ **Captain:**_ bye everyone! thanks for this

 _ **Captain:**_ well most of you

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "wash my victims" and "become more moist" are cursed phrases  
> is this a good time to admit i don't know what the types of words are and had to look them up bc im dumb
> 
> names at the end of this chapter:  
> Kaede - Captain  
> Shuichi - pet detective  
> Kaito - space kid  
> Maki - doesn't want to be here  
> Gonta - Best Boy  
> K1-B0 - doing his best  
> Miu - best girl  
> Angie - with atua  
> Himiko - spite mage  
> Tenko - Aggressively loves girls  
> Korekiyo - the worse one  
> Kokichi - untrustworty  
> Ryoma - closest to hell  
> Rantaro - adventure boi  
> Kirumi - mother  
> Tsumugi - Fake weeb


	8. Powerful Aura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> space kid: what else would it have been?
> 
> pet detective: she did mutter "bde" under her breath before typing powerful aura  
> pet detective: whatever that means

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...........i remembered this story existed
> 
> sorry for the wait

**training sessions**

[12:00am, February 2nd]

 _ **Kaito:**  _hey maki

 

 _ **Maki:**_ just get it over with

 

 _ **Kaito:**_ ???

 

 _ **Shuichi:**_ i'm pretty sure she knows what this is about

 

_**Maki's** name has been changed to  **Maki Day** by  **Kaito**_

_**Maki Day:**  _at least it's not in the classes chat

 

 _ **Kaito:**  _happy birthday

 

 _ **Maki Day:**_ yeah..... thanks

* * *

 

**  
we wont go to heaven**

[3:02pm, February 2nd]

 ** _Aggressively loves girls:_** everyone!

 

 _ **Fake weeb:**  _yes?

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ wait not

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**  _only the people who arent degenerates

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ so not everyone

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ significantly less than everyone

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ how about "no one"

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ ok?

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ you don't know what i'm going to say!

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ i can guess

 

 _ **Captain:**_ whats this about?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ look at your student handbook

 _ **pet detective:**_ and then proceed to pretend you haven't read it

 

 _ **Captain:**_ why would I do that???? (the second part)

 

 _ **space kid:**_ it's what

 _ **space kid:**_ uh

 _ **space kid:**_ that person would want

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ you can just say it

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ oh nooo what wo uld happen if someone found out it was maki's birthday

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ it's not as if its.........

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ information readily availble to every one in our class

_**untrustworthy:** shocking_

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ you done?

 

 _ **untrsutworthy:**_ yep

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ it's really not uhhhhhhhhhhhh important?

 

 _ **Captain:**_ dude

 _ **Captain:**_ just like a week ago you made a big deal about gonta's

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ yeah but i like gonta

 ** _untrustworthy:_** or do i!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ thats beside the point

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ the point being?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ that not treating it like a big deal is basically exactly whats wanted anyway

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ oh then we should make the biggest deal of it!! Let's throw a party right now immediately!

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_.................

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[8:06am, February 3rd]

 ** _doesn't want to be here:_** hey one of you with admin privileges

 

 _ **Captain:**_ yes?

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_......can you change my name

 

 _ **Captain:**_ sure, what to??

 

 _ **doesn't want to be here:**_ i dont know

_**doesn't want to be here's** name has been changed to  **powerful aura** by  **Captain**_

_**powerful aura:**_ why do i get the feeling that wasnt your first thought

 

 _ **Captain:**_ what no it was

 

 _ **space kid:**_ what else would it have been?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ she did mutter "bde" under her breath before typing powerful aura

_**pet detective:** whatever that means_

 

 _ **best girl:**_ OH MY GOD

 _ **best girl:**_ you were gonna name her THAT

 

 _ **space kid:**_ what's that?

 

 _ **best girl:**_ :)

 

_**Fake weeb:** bde?_

_**Fake weeb:**_ as in....................

 _ **Fake weeb:**_ big dick energy

 

 _ **space kid:**_ what

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ wha t

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ uh

 

 _ **Captain:**_ LISTEN I DIDNT

 

 _ **best girl:**_ but you meant to

 

 _ **space kid:**_.............like the meme

 

 _ **Captain:**_ "like the meme" never speak to me again

 

 _ **space kid:**_ i mean its

 _ **space kid:**_ fitting

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ ITS WHAT

 

 _ **space kid:**_ it's not like a literal thing

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ ??????????????????????

 

 _ **Fake weeb:**_ oh yeah i can see it actually now that i think about it

 

 _ **Captain:**_ right?!

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_.....ok?

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[12:43pm, February 9th]

_**Captain** 's name has been changed to  **meme leader** by  **pet detective**_

__

_**best girl:**_ what why

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ she deserves this

 

 _ **meme leader:**_ WHY

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ you deserve that

 

 _ **meme leader:**_ fair but still

_**meme leader** 's name has been changed to  **queen meme**_

_**queen meme:**_ :)

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ also acceptable

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ cool

 

 _ **best girl:**_ a girl meme's once an all the sudden shes the queen of meme

 _ **best girl:**_ then why am i not queen

 _ **best girl:**_ of

_**best girl** has been banned from posting until [12:52pm, February 11th] or until unbanned by admin, by  **pet detective**_

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ if you hadn't i would have

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ reasons to access chat on laptop: can be quick on the draw

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ NOBODY USES THEIR LAPTOP TO ACCESS A CHAT EXCEPT YOU

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ and had it been left to you, she would have finished that statement

 

 _ **queen meme:**_......you right

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a reminder that if there's anything you want to see in this story (like the madlibs thing last chapter was a request) let me know
> 
> i might.....post another chapter really soon after this one
> 
> names at the end of this chapter:  
> Kaede - queen meme  
> Shuichi - pet detective  
> Kaito - space kid  
> Maki - powerful aura  
> Gonta - Best Boy  
> K1-B0 - doing his best  
> Miu - best girl  
> Angie - with atua  
> Himiko - spite mage  
> Tenko - Aggressively loves girls  
> Korekiyo - the worse one  
> Kokichi - untrustworty  
> Ryoma - closest to hell  
> Rantaro - adventure boi  
> Kirumi - mother  
> Tsumugi - Fake weeb


	9. Yeet (on valentines day)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeet: but it's usually me who people have to see coming  
> yeet: heh
> 
> adventure boi: i didn't deserve to read that
> 
> closest to hell: if i had to read that so do you
> 
> adventure boi: fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me posting more than once in 6 months as if i know what im doing
> 
> tbh i put the date in this chapter as feb 14th before i realized "oh shit thats valentines day" and then added the other part of this chapter.

**we wont go to heaven**

[4:27pm, February 14th]

 _ **best girl:**_ you know what

 _ **best girl:**_ sex ed classes suck (ha)

 _ **best girl:**_ whats the point of teaching us how not to get pregnant if they wont teach us what to do if we do

 _ **best girl:**_  dark sex ed classes 

 _ **best girl:**_  give me the forbidden knowledge

 _ **best girl:**_ teach me how to Yeetus my feetus

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ was that entire thing just set up so you could say that

 

 _ **best girl:**_ absolutely

_**best girl** _ _'s name has been changed to **yeet** by  **pet detective**_

_**yeet:**_ ?!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ what

 

 _ **yeet:**_ why

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ you basically asked for this

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ he's not wrong

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ "yeetus my feetus"

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ why didn't you make a feet joke

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ thats not even how you spell fetus

 

 _ **yeet:**_ it's called a fucking joke

 _ **yeet:**_ you dumbass

 

 ** _untrustworthy_** _ **:**_ but jokes are funny

 

 _ **yeet:**_ fight me

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ guys please

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ this should have been what you expected, coming online

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ expected but still disappointed

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ think of how those of us who are always here feel

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ then why are you

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ i

 _ **pet detective:**_ i dont know

 _ **pet detective:**_ is this what purgatory is like

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ yes

 

 _ **adventure boy:**_ can we just take a moment to talk about the fact that you shouldn't be allowed to yeet something that isn't empty

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ so we  _can_ yeet miu's head?

 

 _ **yeet:**_ square up bitch

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ what are you going to do? fight me? you wouldn't win

 

 _ **yeet:**_ im going to strangle u

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ im not into that

 

 _ **yeet:**_  ..........

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ you should have seen that coming

 

 _ **yeet:**_ but it's usually me who people have to see coming

 _ **yeet:**_ heh

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ i didn't deserve to read that

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ if i had to read that so do you

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ fair

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[8:00pm, February 14th]

 _ **yeet:**_ OH FUCK

 _ **yeet:**_ it's valentines day i didnt even notice

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ how did you not

 

 _ **yeet:**_ well i dont have time for that nonsense

 _ **yeet:**_ but i did expect one of you losers to do something about it

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ havent you noticed the suspicious absence of some people

 ** _untrustworthy_** _ **:**_ @space kid, @powerful aura, @Aggressively loves girls, @spite mage

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ explain

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ nothing to explain. let alone to you

 

 _ **space kid:**_ yeah

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ just because some of us have lives doesn't mean you have to accuse us of something

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ just because some of us have love lives*

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ no

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 _ **space kid:**_ pure

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ i need a favor

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ from who?

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ preferably kaede

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ she's not online

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ fine you'll do. change my name!

 

 _ **pet detective:**  _what to

 

 _ **Aggressively loves girls:**_ wait i'll tell you privately

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ ???

 

_**Aggressively loves girls** _ _'sname has been changed to **lesbian icon** by  **pet detective**_

_**lesbian icon:**_ thanks

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ oh

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ :)

 

 _ **space kid:**_ you guys are cute an all but anyone else notice someone shut up after hearing "just because some of us have love lives"

 _ **space kid:**_ maybe you got to him

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ good

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ yeah!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ right

 

 _ **space kid:**_??? right what?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ what do you mean what?

 

 _ **space kid:**_ like what part are you agreeing with

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ shrug

 

 _ **space kid:**_ did you really just type "shrug"

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ yeah?

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ are you ok

 

 _ **yeet:**_ maybe he feels bad for him!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ hardly

 _ **pet detective:**_ just suspicious

 

 _ **space kid:**_ reasonable

* * *

**liars jail**

[8:22pm, February 14th]

 _ **the exception:**_ what are you up to that made you leave???

 

[8:26pm, February 14th]

 _ **the exception:**_??? hey????

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[8:27pm, February 14th]

 _ **powerful aura:**_ nobody has one

 _ **powerful aura:**_ except tenko and himiko apparently?

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ ^^

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ yeah

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ ok so im more suspicious bc i cant get a response but

 _ **pet detective:** _ what dont we have

 

 _ **space** **kid** : _love lives

 

 _ **yeet:**_ who needs love lives

 _ **yeet:**_ other things suffice

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ it's even worse when you're vague

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ now i wouldn't say that's accurate

 

 _ **space kid:**_ jesus fuck

 _ **space kid:**_ when did you get here

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ should i not be

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ you never are

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ also please never elaborate

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ yeah

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ for once i agree with himiko

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ for once?!?!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ where have you been

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ miss me?? aw

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ dont ignore me

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ :/

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ i was preparing to confess my undying love to you!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ oh god what were you doing

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ well thats not a nice reaction

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ look at your name? now remember i gave it to you

 

 _ **space kid:**_ not that anyone would disagree with it

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ you wound me

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ annndddd anyway i haven't done anything!!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ hm

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ well, that sure isn't at all convincing

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ shocking

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ is that........sarcasm i hear

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ you don't hear anything.

 _ **powerful aura:**_ this isn't a verbal conversation

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ maybe not for you

 

 _ **yeet:**_ what the fuck is that supposed to mean

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ :)

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ hey guys why uh

 _ **queen meme:**_ why is there a banner in the dorm entrance

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ a banner?

 

 _ **space kid:**_ what's it say?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ "home of the lesbians"

 

 _ **yeet:**_! well that solves that!

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ solves what?

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ uh

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ what that degenerate was up to!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ well its true isnt it

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ but i too live there

 _ **queen meme:**_  and as much as i do love girls

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ ^same

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ also its outside the dorm overall not just the girls part so

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ well if it's that much of a problem you can just remove it!

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ ok?

 

[8:42pm, February 14th]

 _ **queen meme:**_ ok so there was another banner behind the first one

 _ **queen meme:**_ uhh

 _ **queen meme:**_ i also took it down but shuichi you should see it

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ oh no

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ :)

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ it isn't anything bad!!!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ you say that

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ well it's not "bad" so much as................... a lot

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ a lot of what?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ er

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ oh i was going to ask about the banner i just saw kaede removing but i guess this answer that question

 _ **doing his best:**_ i should have expected it was something to do with kokichi

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ what did..........it say

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ it's not so much what it said but about how loudly it said it

 

 _ **yeet:**_ guys

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ uh yes?

 

 _ **yeet:**_ gay clown

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ me?

 

 _ **yeet:**_ yes

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ blocked

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ never mind i'll just go see it myself

 

[8:54pm, February 14th]

 _ **pet detective:**_ what

 _ **pet detective:**_ what the fuck

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ <3

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ NO WHAT

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ yeah that's about the reaction i expected

 

 _ **space kid:**_ wait so what did it say

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> underneath the "home of the lesbians" banner was a banner declaring it was home of "the best boy and love of [banner makers] life, shuichi saihara"  
> in like, 18 different colours.  
> as ya do
> 
> also i had the thought "gay clown" in the middle of doing something entirely unrelated to his, and immediately thought of ouma so yes i did have to put that in here somehow.
> 
> names at the end of this chapter:  
> Kaede - queen meme  
> Shuichi - pet detective  
> Kaito - space kid  
> Maki - powerful aura  
> Gonta - Best Boy  
> K1-B0 - doing his best  
> Miu - yeet  
> Angie - with atua  
> Himiko - spite mage  
> Tenko - lesbian icon  
> Korekiyo - the worse one  
> Kokichi - untrustworty  
> Ryoma - closest to hell  
> Rantaro - adventure boi  
> Kirumi - mother  
> Tsumugi - Fake weeb


	10. accomplice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> traitor: you say that like we killed someone
> 
> pet detective: me  
> pet detective: im dead  
> pet detective: in my heart
> 
> untrustworthy: <3
> 
> pet detective: you stop that

**we wont go to heaven**

[4:26pm, February 18th]

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ you ever think i might be an asshole

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ yes

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ how dare you!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ i can't believe you would say that to me

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ you know for someone who claims she didnt want to be here u sure are online

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ a lot

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ i need to be prepared for when something important inevitably happens

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ like????????

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ untimely deaths

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[5:52pm, February 18th]

 _ **pet detective:**_   why are all the staples missing from the classroom

 

 _ **space kid:**_ why did you need them

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ yes??

 

 _ **space kid:**_ sorry

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ wait what are you doing??

 

 _ **space kid:**_ losing control of my life

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ i meant with the staples

 

 _ **space kid:**_ oh i know

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ are you.....okay?

 

 _ **space kid:**_ yeah im just

 _ **space kid:**_ helping

 _ **space kid:**_..............kokichi

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ why

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ what does that mean

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ have you been here the whole time

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_  no

 

 _ **pet detective:**_........

 _ **pet detective:**_ but what's with the staples

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ it's a surprise

 

 _ **space kid:**_ .....new banner

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ traitor!

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ how is it that you got dragged into helping?

 _ **doing his best:**_ even i managed to get away!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ for now

 

 _ **space kid:**_ that's ominous

 _ **space kid:**_ anyway mutual gain

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ how 

 _ **pet detective:**_ how what are you getting out of that?

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ secret

 

 _ **space kid:**_ yea

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ they must be stopped immediately

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ why?

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ i don't know but they can't be trusted!

 

 _ **space kid:**_ that's fair

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[10:02am, February 19th]

 _ **powerful aura:**_ so are banners just a thing now

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ ..........i guess i have to take this one down, too

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ ask kirumi to help?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ right, sure, but...

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ what?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ does this one seem.... different?

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ wait you saw it?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ yeah, i went to get a ladder

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ what's different about it?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ well it's not just written on

 

 _ **mother:**_ yes i heard they used staples for something

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ oh you're here!

 

 _ **mother:**_ yes

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ would you mind helping me take it down?

 

 _ **mother:**_ no i don't mind. though i might be quicker to do so if...my name was changed

 _**mother** _ _'s name has been changed to **og best girl** by  **queen meme**_

 ** _og best girl:_** well.

 _ **og best girl:**_ ok

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ we should really start specifying what we want when we ask for our names changed

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ hey! I didn't name you bde!

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ but you wanted to

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ you right

 

 _ **og best girl:**_ so that ladder?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ is on it's way!

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[12:34pm, February 19th]

 _ **pet detective:**_ why is this my life

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ this is the fun part

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ I didn't realize "fun" and "worst" were synonymous

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ well they are

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ honestly this banner is better than the other one

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ its less colourful

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ why

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ hey welcome to the club

 

 _ **space kid:**_ lisetn

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ no

 

 _ **space kid:**_ ok

 _**space kid** _ _'s name has been changed to **traitor** by  **pet detective**_

 _ **traitor:**_ dude

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ :(

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ i didn't get a chance to see the banners this time, what were they?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_...............................

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ well since the years have different dorms

 _ **queen meme:**_ the top one said "home of the better detective"

 _ **queen meme:**_ and the second years found the opposite on their dorms.

 _ **queen meme:**_ so thanks for that i had to apologize to them

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ what makes you think we also did that

 

 _ **queen meme:**_...........really

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ and the other? i assume there was another since you said "top" one

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ it was just

 _ **queen meme:**_ a picture

 _ **queen meme:**_ of maki's face

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ mhm

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ yep

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ that was all?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ you mean beside the obnoxious number of hearts stapled to it?

 _ **pet detective:**_ if i wasn't aware there were multiple culprits i'd be really confused

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ culprits?

 

 _ **traitor:**_ you say that like we killed someone

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ me

 _ **pet detective:**_ im dead

 _ **pet detective:**_ in my heart

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ <3

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ you stop that

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ anyway...........

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ yeah, anywa

 _ **pet detective:**_ WHAT THE FUCK

 

 _ **traitor:**_ what?

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ what happened?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ ??????

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ if it makes you feel better

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ it's all mine?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ the blood?!?1

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ eyep

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ it doesn't!

 

 _ **traitor:**_ wait what happened

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ nothing!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ maybe there was a tiny little accident with the fourth banner

 

 ** _pet detective:_** fourth?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ there were 4?!?! where's the last one????

 

 ** _untrustworthy_** _ **:**_ nowhere

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ lost to time

 

 _ **traitor:**_ "the third years deserve a banner too" 

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ betrayal

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ how could you do such a thing to me, whom you love?

 

 _ **traitor:**_ :I

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ no nevermind that what's this about blood?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ oh yeah

 _ **pet detective:**_ anyone know how to treat head wounds?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ uh no?

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ not enough

 

 _ **traitor:**_ a little?

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ it would probably be best to go to a professional

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ not real ly necessar

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ y

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ clearly

 

 _ **queen meme:**_  go to the third years? they have a nurse right?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ right

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ no im goo here

 

 _ **traitor:**_ "goo"

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ yep. i am not longer a human

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ am a goo

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ you know what on second thought i'll go to the third year dorms you stay there

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ ok thank you

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ but how will a human doc nurse treat a goo boy

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ .....uh

 

 ** _untrustworthy_** _ **:**_ good*

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ which

 _ **pet detective:**_ which one is that correcting

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ the original?

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ no wait is funnier if it's the last on e

 

 _ **traitor:**_ maybe hurry

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ trying

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[2:38pm, February 20th]

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ lol u were worried about me

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ you have a concussion

 _ **doing his best:**_ you aren't supposed to be on your phone!

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ im not

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ or your laptop

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ fuck

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ !! Good call

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ youre still online i can see you

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ that's creepy

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ ...

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ fine fine!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ey request something you wanna see or whatever
> 
> idk i just wanted to update this
> 
> unrelated to this story but on tumblr i opened an ask blog for the post-game v3 kids (in an au where nobody dies) so thats a thing if you're interested: askpostgamev3.tumblr.com
> 
> tumblr refuses to put my announcement post in the v3 tag so that's why im mentioning it here
> 
> names at the end of this chapter:  
> Kaede - queen meme  
> Shuichi - pet detective  
> Kaito - traitor  
> Maki - powerful aura  
> Gonta - Best Boy  
> K1-B0 - doing his best  
> Miu - yeet  
> Angie - with atua  
> Himiko - spite mage  
> Tenko - lesbian icon  
> Korekiyo - the worse one  
> Kokichi - untrustworty  
> Ryoma - closest to hell  
> Rantaro - adventure boi  
> Kirumi - og best girl  
> Tsumugi - Fake weeb


	11. The Bad Decisions Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"nothing could prepare me for the disappointment of seeing your face":** kokichi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: I know something like this has been done before, but this was a request made to me for this story  
> I tried my best not to imitate it.
> 
> also sorry about this chapters summary i just thought that particular line was really funny with that chat name

**The Bad Decisions Club**

[10:06am, February 22nd]

 _**burner account** _ _has added 16 people to **The Bad Decisions Club**_

 ** _burner account:_** welcome losers!

 _ **burner account:**_ to your worst nightmare!

 _ **burner account:**_ im taking cue's from Kaede and having us all play a game!

 _ **burner account:**_ except mine is more fun and has less cursed phrases

 

 _ **"nothing could prepare me for the disappointment of seeing your face":**_ you mean phrases like "become more moist?"

 _ **"nothing could prepare me for the disappointment of seeing your face":**_   wait what is my name

 

 _ **burner account:**_ that's the game! TO figure out who everyone is by their names!

 _ **burner account:**_ they're all things you've said or done so it shouldn't be too hard!

 

 _ **"im going to start weightlifting so i can pick up chicks":** _ how did you change our names before we were added

 

 _ **burner account:**_ I had miu's help! But no worries she doesn't know what they were changed to, either!

 

 _ **"I'm not interested in making good choices or being allosexual":**_ wait so are you also playing?

 

 _ **burner account:**_ yep! That's why im using this to introduce the game!!

 _ **burner account:**_ if i used my own it'd be way too obvious!!

 

 _ **"[redacted] is what one might call, an idiot loser":**_ wait, who?

 _ **"[redacted] is what one might call, an idiot loser":**_ i would never say that!

 

 _ **burner account;**_ but you did!

 _ **burner account:**_ and who do you think :)

 

 _ **"nothing could prepare me for the disappointment of seeing your face":**_   kokichi

 

 _ **burner account:**_ bingo!

 _ **burner account:**_ now go!

 

 _ **"youre going to meet god in a very unfortunate way":**_ but where do we begin

 _ **"youre going to meet god in a very unfortunate way":**_ oh

 

 _ **spent a night in someone elses dorm *gasp*:**_ can't we just say who we are and get it over with

 

 _ **"im going to start weightlifting so i can pick up chicks":**_ there's probably something keeping us from doing that

 

 _ **spent a night in someone elses dorm *gasp*:**_ [redacted]

 _ **spent a night in someone elses dorm *gaps*:**_ guess you're right

 

 _ **"im going to start weightlifting so i can pick up chicks":**_ well on the bright side i know who someone is

 _ **"im going to start weightlifting so i can pick up chicks":**_ "nothing could prepare me for the disappointment of seeing yoru face" is shuichi!

 

_**"nothing could prepare me for the disappointment of seeing your face"** 's name has been changed to  **pet detective** by  **burner account**_

 

 _ **burner account:**_ might as well change you back to your names from  **we wont go to heaven**

 

 _ **screamed while walking into a haunted house:**_ wait how did you know

 _ **screamed while walking into a haunted  house:**_ listen

 

 _ **"im going to start weightlifting so i can pick up chicks":**_ because i was there

 _ **"im going to start weightlfiting so i can pick up chicks":**_   he said it to tsumugi of all people

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ i can explain

 _ **pet detective:**_ context is important

 _ **pet detective:**_ so i ordered pizza

 

 _ **screamed while walking into a haunted house:**_ dude

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ listen!

 _ **pet detective:**_ i was hungry ok

 _ **pet detective:**_ so it was very disappointing when i opened the door and it was just tsumugi

 _ **pet detective:**_ also weightlifting to pick up chicks is kaede, she was the only other person there

 

_**"im going to start weightlifting so i can pick up chicks"** 's name has been changed to  **queen meme** by  **burner account**_

_**queen meme:**_ i meant it literally and i will absolutely do it

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ did you

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ yes???

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ okay

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ what does that mean?!

 _ **queen meme:**_ you know what your name should have been? "was in a group chat named bitch with only 1 other person"

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ hey!

 

 _ **"if you dont own a cat dont speak to me":**_ why

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ i wasn't the one who made it!

 _ **pet detective:**_ ryoma

 

_**"fi you dont own a cat dont speak to me"** 's name has been changed to  **closest to hell** by  **burner account**_

_**closest to hell:**_ i don't have to explain myself

 

 _ **stepped on a singular ant once:**_ of course! Ryoma really likes cats!

 _ **stepped on a singular ant once:**_ [redacted]

 _ **stepped on a singular ant once:**_ [redacted]

 _ **stepped on a singular ant once:**_ [redacted]

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ please just change gonta's name back everything he posts is going to be redacted

 

_**stepped on a singular ant once** 's name has been changed to  **best boy** by  **burner account**_

_**best boy**_ 's _banned words have been cleared_

 

 ** _met maki as a child:_** wow! how'd you know it was him?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ why else would it be redacted?

 _ **queen meme:**_ and it's ok we know you would never purposefully hurt a bug, gonta

 

 _ **best boy:**_ oh!

 _ **best boy:**_ thank you

 

 _ **spent a night in someone elses dorm *gasp*:**_ no hold on who the fuck

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ what?

 

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ yeah? what?

 

 _ **spent a night in someone elses dorm *gasp*;**_ you!

 

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ why don't you guess? maki?

 

_**spent a night in someone elses dorm *gasp*** 's name has been changed to **powerful aura** by  **burner account**_

_**powerful aura:**_ none of you!

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ wait if you're maki then who's

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ people do that all the time?

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ I think the thing is just that it was a big enough deal to be made your name

 

 _ **screamed while walking into a haunted house:**_ it's probably just that maki never does anything weird enough to be her name!

 

 _ **blew up the 78th classes class room:**_ or it was

 _ **blew up the 78th classes class room:**_ someone specific :)

 

 _ **once stood within 100cm distance from a boy:**_ but this is maki!

 _ **once stood within 100cm distance from a boy:**_ uh

 

 _ **"being within 100 meters of the school is too much work":**_ tenko?

 

 _ **once stood within 100cm distance from a boy:**_ yes?

_**once stood within 100cm distance form a boy** 's name has been changed to  **lesbian icon** by  **burner account**_

 

 _ **"being within 100 meters of the school is too much work":**_ thought so

 _ **"being within 100 meters of the school is too much work":**_ heh our names sorta matched

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ it was a low point!

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ is that a good thing?

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ probably depends on who it is

 

 _ **"if they aren't going to reproduce anyway i don't know what the problem is":**_ my guess would be himiko, all things considered

 

_**"being within 100 meters of the school is too much work"** s name has been changed to **spite mage** by  **burner account**_

_**spite mage:**_ yep

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ oh! Then it was really nice to have sorta matching names!

 

 _ **blew up the 78th classes class room:**_ gay

 

 _ **"if they aren't going to reproduce anyway i don't know what the problem is":**_ yes well tenko's name is lesbian icon

 

 _ **almost started a clothes dryer with kokichi inside it:**_ we're making quick progress through figuring out who everyone is

 _ **almost started a clothes dryer with kokichi inside it:**_ ah

 

 _ **blew up the 78th classes class room:**_ wow why didn't you

 _ **blew up the 78th classes class room:**_ woulda saved us the trouble

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ that would have killed him

 

 _ **blew up the 78th classes class room:**_ that's the hope!

 

 _ **"[redacted] is what one might call, an idiot loser":**_ that's terrible!

 

 _ **almost started a clothes dryer with kokichi inside it:**_ I didn't

 _ **almost started a clothes dryer with kokichi inside it:**_ also i can help us with 1 person, miu is the one who blew up the 78th classes room

 

_**blew up the 78th classes class room** 's name has been changed to  **yeet** by  **burner account**_

_**yeet:**_ ha well

 _ **yeet:**_ it was mOSTLY their own fault anyway

 

 _ **almost started a clothes dryer with kokichi inside it:**_ yes well that doesn't change the fact you had to fix it

 _ **almost started a clothes dryer with kokichi inside it:**_ and i had to help

 

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ waaaaaaait

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ kirumi you did such a thing?!

 

_**almost started a clothes dryer with kokichi inside it** 's name has been changed to  **og best girl** by  **burner account**_

 

 _ **og best girl:**_ I didn't start the dryer.

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ anyway

 _ **pet detective:**_ we're closer to having everyone normal

 

 _ **called naruto "boruto's dad":**_ only 7 to go

 _ **called naruto "boruto's dad":**_ oh

 _ **called naruto "boruto's dad":**_ i can explain

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ "fake weeb" strikes again

 _ **queen meme:**_ tsumugi?

 _ **queen meme:**_ that one was a bit too obvious

 

_**called naruto "boruto's dad"** 's name has been changed to  **fake weeb** by  **burner account**_

_**fake weeb:**_ somehow this isn't any better?

 _ **fake weeb:**_ i should have asked you to change my name in the other chat a long time ago

 

 _ **"youre going to meet god in a very unfortunate way":**_ oh, oh! Try to guess me next

 

 _ **"I'm not interested in making good choices or being allosexual":**_ angie? but the phrasing's a bit off for angie

 

 _ **"youre going to meet god in a very unfortunate way":**_ no you're right!!

_**"youre going to meet god in a very unfortunate way"** 's name has been changed to  **with atua** by  **burner account**_

_**with atua:**  _ i don't remember saying it though?

 

 _ **screamed while walking into a haunted house:**_ oh i know this one! She said it to Korekiyo!

 

 _ **with atua:**_ did i?

 

 _ **screamed while walking into a haunted house:**_ yeah?

 _ **screamed while walking into a haunted house:**_ it was right after that time he accidentally broke the lock on the art room door

 

 _ **with atua:**_ oh, yes

 _ **with atua:**_ soon

 

 _ **"if they aren't going to reproduce anyway i don't know what the problem is":**_ well that certainly is ominous

 

 _ **"I'm not interested in making good choices or being allosexual":**_ ominous things just seem to be a trend in our classes chats, honestly

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ oh

 _ **powerful aura:**_ you're rantarou

 

_**"I'm not interested in making good choices or being allosexual"** 's name has been changed to  **adventure boi** by  **burner account**_

_**adventure boi:**_ how'd you know?

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ ace hivemind

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ meaning you realized that if it wasn't you that was the most likely person?

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ yeah, that's what i said

 

 _ **screamed while walking into a haunted house:**_ wait if that was the most likely person, why didn't you figure it out?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ sorry

 _ **pet detective:**_ i'm still trying to figure the other three

 

 _ **screamed while walking into a haunted house:**_ three? what about me?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ kaito

 

_**screamed while walking into a haunted house** 's name has been changed to  **traitor** by  **burner account**_

_**traitor:**_ hey wait

 

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ that one should have been obvious from the start!

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ then why didn't you guess it?

 

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ i have not once claimed to be smart!

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ >.> no

 

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ what?

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ nothing

 

 _ **"if they aren't going to reproduce anyway i don't know what the problem is":**_ well, by process of elimination, that's either kokichi or kiibo

 _ **"if they aren't going to reproduce anyway i don't know what the problem is":**_ wait

 

 _ **burner account:**_ aw come on Korekiyo! You ruined the game!

_**"if they aren't going to reproduce anyway i don't know what the problem is"** 's name has been changed to  **the worse one** by  **burner account**_

__

_**the worse one:**_ i somehow didn't think that would work

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ but wait how old is kiibo actually

 _ **closest to hell:**_ would that even be possible

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ you make a good point

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ wait then "[redacted] is what one might call, an idiot loser" is kiibo?

 

_**"[redacted] is what one might call, an idiot loser"** 's name has been changed to  **doing his best** by  **burner account**_

_**doing his best:**_ this is slander

 

 _ **og best girl:**_ before we dig into the more obvious thing, who did Kiibo say that about? It's hard to picture

 

 _ **yeet:**_ i didn't raise him like this!

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ you didn't raise me!

 _ **doing his best:**_.........

 _ **doing his best:**_ it was about kaito

 

 _ **traitor:**_ what?!?!

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ i'm sorry! I wasn't saying it as my own thoughts!

 _ **doing his best:**_ I was quoting kokichi, to tsumugi

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ oh yeah now i remember

 _ **fake weeb:**_ he was telling me about that incident where you guys feel down the stairs? and what you told him about that

 _ **fake weeb:**_ his impressions are

 _ **fake weeb:**_ not great 

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ that's rude! My impressions are fine!

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ this conversation is great and all but........the elephant is bigger than the room

 

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ whatever do you mean? :)

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ when

 

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ are you saying you dont remember me??? I'm hurt! Im crying you made me cry!

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ listen here you little shit

 

 _ **traitor:**_ maybe his isn't true

 ** _traitor:_** that wouldn't surprise me

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ you say that

 

 _ **traitor:**_ but?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ i don't know, why participate in the game at all if he's going to do that?

 

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ it's because i'm not lying!

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ or maybe  _thats_ the lie?

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ .................................

 

 _ **met maki as a child:**_ oh  yeah

_**met maki as a child** 's name has been changed to  **untrustworthy** by  **burner account**_

_**untrustworthy:**_ I guess that ends the game!!

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_............do you

 _ **powerful aura:**_ god damn you

 _ **powerful aura:**_ do you have parents

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ you can't just ask someone if they have parents!! It's rude!!

 _ **untrustworthy**_ _has removed themselves from **The Bad Decisions Club**_

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[3:08pm, February 23rd]

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ hey guys wanna see something cool

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ i dont trust you to do so but yes

 

_**untrustworthy** has posted a photo_

 

 _ **adventure** **boi:**_ is that? maki?

 

 _ **pet detective:**_ how?

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ where the fuck did you get that????

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ uh it's my picture???

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ HOW is it 

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ well i cropped the other kids out of it but maybe if you remembered who else was in it you'd know!!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ :) :) : )

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ i'm going to personally drop kick you off the school roof

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was  
> a lot
> 
> how many people did you figure out before their reveal?
> 
> names at the end of this chapter (they haven't changed from last chapter but after this one just in case you need the reminder):  
> Kaede - queen meme  
> Shuichi - pet detective  
> Kaito - traitor  
> Maki - powerful aura  
> Gonta - Best Boy  
> K1-B0 - doing his best  
> Miu - yeet  
> Angie - with atua  
> Himiko - spite mage  
> Tenko - lesbian icon  
> Korekiyo - the worse one  
> Kokichi - untrustworty  
> Ryoma - closest to hell  
> Rantaro - adventure boi  
> Kirumi - og best girl  
> Tsumugi - Fake weeb


	12. The less cursed version of Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeet: those systems sure are nice  
> yeet: ;)
> 
> doing his best: i am uncomfortable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently i exclusively post in the middle of the night

**we wont go to heaven**

[4:21pm, February 27th]

 _ **fake weeb:**_ you know we were so caught up on that one thing we never did question the name "if they aren't going to reproduce anyway i don't know what the problem is"

 _ **fake weeb:**_ and i really think we need to discuss that

 _ **fake weeb:**_ because what the fuck

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ i really just don't want to question it

 _ **closest to hell:**_ or anything happening with our class ever, really

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ well, 

 _ **the worse one:**_ i'd rather not explain, anyway

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ whod you say it to

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ no one from our class that's for certain

 _ **the worse one:**_ i shouldn't question anything, at this point, but i do have to wonder how he found out i'd said it

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ a myster

 _ **adventure boi:**_  mystery*

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ oh do you think we can get angie and gonta online

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ why?

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ because this is nearly the never online crew

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ im online? often enough?

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ right you can leave

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ well

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ where are the mods i have a request

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ offline

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ you just responed

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ ....fair

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ you know i'm still upset i wasn't invited to the madlibs session

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ it wasn't great, trust me

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ in fact it was pretty not great

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ those cursed phrases

 _ **adventure boi:**_ still haunt me

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ aw but it's a bonding activity

 

 _ **closest to hell:**_ bye

 

 _ **adventure boi:**_ take me with you

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ seems that wont be happening

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ hm

 _ **queen meme:**_ it wasn't that bad!

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ we can get everyone who wasn't part of the original game! + you, of course

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ okay

 _ **queen meme:**_ well, hey, maybe not  _everyone_

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ i guess that means I should stay online

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ yes!

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[5:03pm, February 27th]

 _ **queen meme:**_ alright, guys, we all understand what we're doing

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ yea

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ yes!

 

 _ **best boy:**_ Gonta think's so

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ i'm sure we all understand

 

 _ **yeet:**_ its not that fucking hard to understand, come on let's get it over with

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ great!

 

 _ **queen meme:**_ okay, then

 _ **queen meme:**_ if your word is accepted, don't give me any more until we get to the lightning round-ish part, okay

 

 _ **with atua:**_ of course!

 

 _ **queen meme** 's name has been changed to _ _**GM** _

_**GM:**_ okay then

 _ **GM:**_ to start, a number!

 _ **GM:**_ actually, let me take this one

 _ **GM:**_ okay, so next: 

 

 _ **yeet:**_ wait what was the fucking number you chose

 

 _ **GM:**_ oh! 26

 

 _ **yeet:**_ wow

 _ **yeet:**_ that's not even the sex number

 

 _ **GM:**_ this is why i chose the number

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ stifling our creative freedom i see

 

 _ **with atua:**_ i can't believe this!

 

 _ **GM:**_ ANYWAY

 _ **GM:**_ season

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ summer!

 

 _ **GM:**_ okay

 _ **GM:**_ adjective

 

 _ **yeet:**_ spicy

 

 _ **best boy:**_ um

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ adjective's are descriptive word

 

 _ **best boy:**_ oh!

 _ **best boy:**_ "Pretty"

 

 _ **GM:**_ pure

 _ **GM:**_ that word, not as an example

 _ **GM:**_ also pretty works

 _ **GM:**_ next, plural noun

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ chests

 

 _ **yeet:**_ wow didn't expect that from you

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ no the box kind

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ still it could be confused

 _ **the worse one:**_ cages?

 

 _ **GM:**_ sure?

 _ **GM:**_ cages then.

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ traitor

 

 _ **GM:**_ fair. noun

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ i repeat, traitor

 

 _ **GM:**_  you already gave me one

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ traitor

 

 _ **GM:**_ fine, okay

 _ **GM:**_ another one

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ wig

 

 _ **GM:**_ acceptable

 _ **GM:**_ adjective

 

 _ **yeet:**_ SPICY

 

 _ **GM:**_ FINE

 _ **GM:**_ animal

 

 _ **with atua:**_ dog!

 

 _ **GM:**_ thank you for being resonably normal

 _ **GM:**_ for once

 _ **GM:**_ type of liquid

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ oh im the only one left

 _ **doing his best:**_ uh

 _ **doing his best:**_  water?

 

 _ **yeet:**_ lame

 

 _ **GM:**_ it's fine

 _ **GM:**_ lightning round first come first serve

 _ **GM:**_ not that that wasn't practically how it was anyway

 _ **GM:**_ plural noun!

 

 _ **yeet:**_ lesbians

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ heh

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ us

 

 _ **GM:**_ okay well

 _ **GM:**_ adjective

 

 _ **best boy:**_ n ice

 _ **best boy:**_ Nice* sorry

 

 _ **GM:**_ It's okay!

 _ **GM:**_ number

 

 _ **yeet:**_ SIXTY NINE

 

 _ **GM:**_ god fucking damn you

 _ **GM:**_ you cant hear me but im sighing and i need you to know that

 

 _ **with atua:**_ dont worry i agree

 

 _ **GM:**_ with

 

 _ **with atua:**_ damnation

 

 _ **GM:**_ sweet

 

 _ **yeet:**_ this is bullying

 

 _ **GM:**_ adjective

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ loud

 

 _ **GM:**_ kay

 _ **GM:**_ plural noun

 

 _ **with atua:**_ sacrifices

 

 _ **GM:**_ why always with you guys and the dark words

 

 _ **with atua:**_ scarfices aren't dark

 

 _ **GM:**_ that reaction just makes it worse

 _ **GM:**_ noun

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ fish

 

 _ **GM:**_ okay!

 _ **GM:**_ here's the result of all your terrible work, everyone

 _ **GM:**_ it's a "course description"

_**GM:** _

 

> **FCS 26 - Housing Tech**
> 
> FCS 26. HOUSING TECHNOLOGY. (3) Summer. The selection and management of Pretty Cages, lighting, and indoor temperature and Traitor control. Evaluation of housing types, storage, Wig, zoning, and Spicy regulations. Dog conservation, electricity, Water, plumbing, Lesbians and refrigeration as they relate to the operation of Nice systems.
> 
> 3.000 Credit Hours  
>  69 Lecture Hours
> 
> **Levels:** Loud  
>  **Schedule Types:** Lecture
> 
> College of Sacrifices College  
>  Family and Fish Sciences Department
> 
> **Course Attributes:**  
>  Loud Tuition 

_**GM:**_ you know what? this is better than last time, you guys did good.

 _ **GM:**_ or is the lack of cursed phrases worse

 

 _ **yeet:**_ "69 lecture hours"

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ "spicy regulations"

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ levels: loud

 _ **fake weeb:**_ ^our dorm

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ read, also: just kokichi

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ he's not even here to defend himself

 _ **fake weeb:**_ but true

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ "College of Sacrifices College"

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ if you attend you die

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ nice

 

 _ **doing his best:**_  The selection and management of Pretty Cages, lighting, and indoor temperature and Traitor control.

 _ **doing his best:**_ "pretty cages"

 _ **doing his best:**_ "traitor control"

 _ **doing his best:**_ these feel somehow related

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ the cages are for the traitors, obviously

 

 _ **lesbian icon:**_ at least prison is pretty apparently

 

 _ **spite mage:**_ for some reason "nice systems" is really funny to me

 

 _ **yeet:**_ those systems sure are nice

 _ **yeet:**_ ;)

 

 _ **doing his best:**_ i am uncomfortable

 

 _ **GM:**_ guys

 _ **GM:**_  Family and Fish Sciences Department

 _ **GM:**_ please explain how we make these two things related

 

 _ **best boy:**_ the fish are a family!

 

 _ **GM:**_ you're absolutely right

 _ **GM:**_ this was nice

 _ **GM:**_ no "wash my victims" or "become more moist"

 _ **GM:**_ just nice, wholesome things

 _ **GM:**_ and sacrifices but

 

 _ **yeet:**_ don't forget the 69 lecture hours

 

 _ **GM:**_ i was trying to though

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ i think we can all agree that this half of our class is far less destructive, after this

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ idk i think the thing we were filling out itself helped

 

 _ **the worse one:**_ still

* * *

**we wont go to heaven**

[2:07am, February 28th]

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ i can't believe you guys would play a game without me!

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ where's the fun in that!

 

 _ **yeet:**_ that's were all the fun is

 

 _ **untrustworthy:**_ shut the fuck up

 

 _ **yeet:**_ ?!?!

 

_**untrustworthy** 's name has been changed to  **levels - loud** by  **GM**_

_**levels - loud:**_ hey

_**levels - loud** ' s name has been changed to  **become more** by  **GM**_

_**become more:**_ you couldn't even finish that huh?

 

 _ **GM:**_ i really just want someone to not realize the reference and ask what it means

 _ **GM:**_ so you have to explain

 

 _ **become more:**_ brave of you to assume i've ever explained anything in my life

 

 _ **GM:**_ wait i should have done this earlier

_**doing his best** 's name has been changed to  **nice systems** by  **GM**_

_**GM:**_ he'll forgive me for that, right?

 

 _ **fake weeb:**_ no guarantees 

 

 _ **powerful aura:**_ I SWEAR TO GOD YOU GUYS

 _ **powerful aura:**_ IT"S TWO AM

 

 _ **GM:**_ sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anyone ask for this chapter?  
> technically no  
> but you know  
> i really hoped for more cursed phrases but somehow i didnt get any
> 
> EDIT: OH SHIT I FORGOT  
> 1) if i made another chatfic but with the dr2 cast would anyone be interested in that  
> and 2)
> 
> names at the end of this chapter:  
> Kaede - GM  
> Shuichi - pet detective  
> Kaito - traitor  
> Maki - powerful aura  
> Gonta - Best Boy  
> K1-B0 - doing his best  
> Miu - yeet  
> Angie - with atua  
> Himiko - spite mage  
> Tenko - lesbian icon  
> Korekiyo - the worse one  
> Kokichi - become more  
> Ryoma - closest to hell  
> Rantaro - adventure boi  
> Kirumi - og best girl  
> Tsumugi - Fake weeb

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very greatly appreciated


End file.
